A-well-a, everybody’s heard about the bird. Bird, bird, bird, b-bird is the word. I can’t be certain, but I think the Speculum Bird has a gynecological office somewhere in LA. The ladies seem to like him, even when he is feeling peckish.
This art piece is for the birds and is apparently based on a dream the artist had. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go have a nightmare.
It’s alive! It’s alive with flowers! This Frankenstein Flowerpot is pretty much what it would look like if the villagers with torches and pitchforks buried Franky in the ground up to his neck. Naturally they hollowed out his skull and used it as a flowerpot, because that’s what you do when a freakish monster shows up in your village.
Or you can do like my wife did. Take one for the village and marry the monster. Feed it tasteless gruel. And when it asks for sex, ignore it and sneer. Soon it will lose the will to live. *sighs* Such is marriage. I-Am-Not-A-Monster!
Etsy seller ianthegnome makes all kinds of crazy garden gnomes that look like superheroes, wrestlers, video game characters. You name it. Okay, I will. I name it awesome. Check out a bunch below and then go crazy ordering them for your yard. I call dibs on Superman and Batman cuz I’m creating my own gnome Justice League.
You can have Dexter and his cellophane wrapped victim. Gizmo too. No way I’m putting a Mogwai in my garden. You know he’s gonna get wet and multiply into a s**t ton of evil Gremlins that are going to break everything, eat everything and cause nothing but trouble. In other words, another me. One of me is plenty. I refuse to share my junk food and there’s not much left in my house that I haven’t broken already.
Read more “Awesome Garden Gnomes Look Like Your Favorite Geek Characters”
Damn that’s nasty! Don’t have a mummified corpse to put in your yard so that birds and squirrels can feed from it’s dead body? No problem. Etsy seller AutumnsOddities has you covered. Your yard animals will love this Mummified Baby Bird Feeder.
Basically it makes it look like you left your kid permanently unattended in your yard until little Bobby or Susie has become squirrel food. Just fill it up with bird seed and then watch nature do it’s nasty thing. Just remember, they’ll be pecking at you next while you try to sip some lemonade in the backyard.
Read more “Mummified Baby Bird Feeder”
It’s time to talk about terror on a tiny scale. *You mean your peen?* Very funny, but no. Why can’t you be like all of the ladies and just leave him alone? No, I’m talking about small scale dioramas with weird-ass stuff going on in them.
Etsy seller OminousPossessions creates all kinds of dark and disturbing mini dioramas. Stuff like Freakshows, Freddy Kreuger vs Jason Voorhees, killer clowns with blood everywhere. Dude’s got a deranged mind, but at least he’s working through it by painting miniatures.
I work through my issues with small art all the time myself. Small Art is my “little person” therapist. I spend half of my sessions just trying to work through my fear of little people. The other half trying to get the guy to stop crying like a baby. He’s a little sensitive. What? You are a little person AND a therapist. You never thought this would come up? I got issues!
Read more “Crazy Scary Horror Dioramas”