Tag: art

Wooden Head Knife Block

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

wood head knife block
Check out this wooden head knife block from Etsy seller DisturbingWood. Ha! DisturingWood! You should see me in the morning! *rimshot*

I need another knife block like I need a knife through my wooden head, but if you buy this one, make sure you giggle every time you slam a knife down into it, just to make your guests or housemates really uncomfortable. No charge for that tip. I have a million ways to clear a room and they don’t all involve ejecting poison gas from my butthole. Although that is my specialty.

Sign Language Wall Clock

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

sign language clock
This Sign Language Wall Clock is perfect for those of us who can’t hear and can’t read numbers at the same time. Like my senile grandpa who continues to “garden” in the sink. Poor guy. He thinks his poopy diaper is actually fertilizer he bought from the garden store and that anything from my fridge is a flower. In his defense that diaper weighs about the same by the time he drops his cargo and tears it off. Damn it gramps! Stop dipping Hot Pockets and pudding pops in poo! I’ll take that bag of corn too. Looks like that’s the one crop you grow just fine!

Even he could understand this clock. I think it should show the middle finger at 6 though, because that’s when I go to work. This guy’s costing me a fortune in food and sanitizer.

Return Of The Hawn Tawn Space Pirate

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

hawn tawnYou might remember that we featured Deadgreedy’s Hawn Tawn awhile back. And of course as soon as all of you saw it you made Dead Greedy an instant success. The dude is selling his stuff at conventions, making more weird and freaky toys than ever before and basically being an art star. I tried to talk to him when I saw him at a con a few days ago, but he couldn’t be bothered since he had a babe on each arm and was sipping champagne, all while making it rain dollar bills and throwing red skittles at me. He hates the red ones and thought I put them in his dressing room.

Anyway, the dude is doing great for himself and if you missed out on buying that disturbing yet awesome Hawn Tawn figure, it’s now a kickstarter. You can make this figure a reality! For a $50 pledge you can get one of 500 figures for yourself. Maybe cut it open and put your Luke figure in it’s belly to keep him warm. If you like strange custom Star Wars figures, help him make it a reality.

Thanks for the shoutout in the kickstarter video Jeremy and never stop making weird and awesome stuff.
Read more “Return Of The Hawn Tawn Space Pirate”

Realistic Beavis & Butthead Sculptures

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

beavis butthead
Heh heh. Heh heh. This sucks. These Realistic Beavis & Butthead Sculptures are all like, lifelike and stuff.

Yeah! Yeah! Heh heh. Those guys look creepy. Heh. They look familiar. Fire! Fire! I am cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!

Sit these guys down in your living room, in front of your TV, and just watch the idiotic magic happen. Unless of course you have kids. In that case, just sit back and watch your own idiots pick their noses and watch TV. I know I gave my parents hours of entertainment. These sculptures are ultra realistic, right down to the braces and bad acne. For $8,300.00 you can have MTV induced nightmares forever. I’m not sure which one scares me more.
Read more “Realistic Beavis & Butthead Sculptures”

Batman And Superman On The Toilet Art Prints

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

batman superman on the toilet
Hey, Superheroes poop too. Superman’s poop just has the ability to break your toilet into a million shards if he loses bowel control. They don’t call him The Man Of Stool for nothin’! Batman’s poop? Smells dark and brooding. Recedes into dark corners.

These fine art prints will show you that DC Comics’ finest are just like you and me. They have poop inside of them and it needs to get out. Sometimes you have to have a good read while you are waiting. Do you want one of these prints? Of course, you do. Does Poison Ivy poop in the garden?

You can get both of them for $32. from Etsy.