Tag: case

Leather Tarot Card Holders

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Tarot Card Holders
Etsy seller ContrivedtoCharm has some cool Leather Tarot Card Holders. That way you can keep your deck safe and organized. Reminds me of the only time I ever went to a psychic for a Tarot Card reading:

The death card. What does that mean?

Death! You idiot!

You mean someone in this room is gonna die?

I think we both know who.

Whatevs ya old crackpot! *Throws a tip on the table and heads for the door. Leaves and slams door. Hears a loud BOOOOOMMMMM! Opens door and peeks back in. Sees a pair of feet sticking out from underneath the piano that fell from the second floor.*

Holy Madame Cleo! She was right.

*Tiptoes around the wreckage to retrieve my tip.*
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Rattlesnake iPhone 6 Case

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rattlesnake i phone 6 case
Sweeeet! Check out this Rattlesnake iPhone 6 Case. You can set your ringtone to a snake hiss and look all awesome when you pull your phone out with a Rattlesnake head attached. Even if it will bite you with every call.

Too bad I can’t use it. I just upgraded to an iPhone 3. Of course I also recently upgraded to a computer smaller than a refrigerator. It is SO nice to be able to see pictures on the internet. I had no idea that Facebook really was full of faces. That thing has faces everywhere. I’m in the process of moving over from Myspace. Ah hell. BRB The ice delivery guy is here. Now I can buy groceries! WOOT!

Monster Bags: Your Emotional Baggage Now Has A Face

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etsy monster bag
Etsy seller pippenwycks sells all kinds of cool Monster Bags. Dice bags, Clutch(Your heart and die at the sight of those teeth) bags, shoulder bags and more. They probably have bags under their eyes from staying up late at night, creating monsters. Funny story: That’s what my mom said when she had me.

I’d get one, but it ain’t my bag… Man. Besides, papa’s got a brand new bag. No, really. It’s nice. No teeth or eyes anywhere. In fact, I just opened it and it contains an Arby’s Roast Beef sandwich and some curly fries. The monster is me! *Om nom nom nom. Choke. Gasp.* Ate too fast. Drank too fast. Swallowed the straw. It’s really stuck in there, but on the plus side, it’s a straw so… I get extra points for choking while still being able to breath. ER here I come again. Where’s that EZ-Pass / Fast Pass card they gave me?
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Nicolas Cage Meme iPhone Cases

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nicolas cage i phone case
Your iPhone is a powerful device, even if they do keep “upgrading” it every year and giving you the bare minimum in new features for a sweet high price. See, that right there is why I use a flip phone. Well, your crazy expensive phone is about to get even more powerful. Unlock the power of Nicolas Cage and let him hug your phone with his dead unblinking eyes, like the Shakespearean acting sloth that he is. Your smartphone will never be the same.

Choose from Pepperoni Pizza face Cage, Mona Lisa Cage, Illuminati Cage, Our Lord Cage, Astronaut Cage and Renaissance Woman Cage. Get all the Nic Cages. You gotta catch ’em all!
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Burrito Camera Lens Wrap

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camera burrito
The Photorito Lens Wrap is a neoprene burrito that protects your camera lens and keeps it in great shape. Also great for when you are going all James Bond and spying on people, while pretending to enjoy a nice fat burrito and read the paper. Oh, hey! Looks like the Cubs won today-

*Crunch*

Holy hell! Why? Why do I keep forgetting that there’s a camera lens in that burrito? Holy hell! The pain! *Quickly picking up teeth from the floor while holding my jaw and crying.* See this is why the British (Or any) government won’t hire me as a spy. Which is a damn shame cuz I could use some free dental.