Tag: decor

Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance

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Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance
These Taxidermied Mice Having A Seance are doing it all wrong. The dead don’t try to raise the living. Well, there was that one time I was playing poker with a zombie. He raised and went all in. Sucker. I cleaned up, took my winnings and hit the restroom for a royal flush.

Look at these guys with their little tarot cards and occult objects. Too bad they aren’t alive, cuz then I could call one of them Alistair Crawley. Get it? Cuz he’d be crawling all over the place.
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Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock

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Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock
This Horror Vinyl Record Wall Clock makes my horror loving heart skip a beat. Get it? Like a record skipping? *Pfft* This generation and their CDs. Huh? What do you mean they don’t use CDs anymore? I wouldn’t know since music is so shizz these days. They gotta get in the groove and get on track. Heh. Just some more vinyl record humor.

Anyway, between Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers here, I bet they set a record for killing the most people ever aside from Monsanto of course, so it’s only natural they should actually be on a record looking all scary. This record is also a clock.

Hey what time is it? It’s half past Freddy’s glove and a quarter to Jason’s mask. Naturally.

UFO Alien Abduction Sign

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UFO Alien Abduction Sign
Let your overnight guests know that aliens frequent your bedroom. This UFO Alien Abduction Sign will let them know that they could potentially be lying in bed minding their own business, when a beam of blue light lifts them out of bed.

They tried that shizz on me once. I was floating and rising up, then I heard their machinery straining and smelled smoke. Once their tractor beam broke, I fell back on my bed like a floppy fat fish and thanked God for my second helping of Cheetos and three bowls of ice cream. I win f***ers!

Frankenstein’s Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases

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Frankenstein's Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases
What a lovely couple. Let’s hope they don’t reproduce. But enough about me and my wife. These Frankenstein’s Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases are the perfect gift for that couple that has a monster of a marriage. I would put these on my bed, but it already looks like that when we are both laying there seething at each other.

You monster!

No, you’re the monster!

I’m Doctor Frankenstein so you must be my monster!

If I’m the monster than you are the bride of the monster!

You’re the monster! Infinity!

I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper

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I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper
I love you guys. And to show you, here’s some I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper. I really do you know. Glad to help you evacuate your colon. This is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for anyone, because we all have to poop. I know that I want others to think about me every time they wipe.

It’s functional. It’s thoughtful. It gets your butt clean. Give them chocolates to make them poop and then give them the gift of wiping. Like my dad used to say to my mom, “Here’s something for your mouth and something for your butt. Happy Valentine’s Day.”