Tag: decor

Bunny Butts In A Flower Pot

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Bunny Butts In A Flower Pot
Give the gift of Bunny Butts In A Flower Pot this Valentine’s Day or Easter. Because there’s nothing quite like being mooned by nature’s carrot eaters. Reminds me of that time I fell in and got stuck in the garbage can cuz the wife threw out a Reeses cup. On one hand, it was like being in a dark mine shaft upside down. On the up side, the wife had also thrown out a box of twinkies so… I had provisions.

Thank God for the fire department who used a dremmel to cut the garbage can in half. But not before using my exposed plumbers crack as a tool tray. “YO, that screwdriver is cold!” The other half of the garbage can was stuck to my gut for like a week until I lost weight. Kids called me “Fatty the Scottish Knight”. You know, cuz of my metal kilt and all. Kids can be so cruel.

Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs

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Meditating Skeletons And Skull Mugs
How often does a skeleton meditate? Oh, every now and zen. Haha, I crack me up. Check out these cool Meditating Skeletons And Other Skull Mugs from Etsy seller NicolePangasCeramics. That skeleton has attained enlightenment. Too bad he didn’t attain some meat on his bones. I don’t know anything about Buddhism or Hinduism, but I… Like big Buddhas and I can not lie…

Seriously, these mugs are pretty cool. They have all kinds of cool creepy looking drinkware. How do you get into a meditative state? Simple. Just relax your mind, empty your thoughts and cross the border. Whoa that’s deep. Deepak Chopra…
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Ghostbusters Terror Dog

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Ghostbusters Terror Dog
Who ya gonna call? Well, to be honest, I thought I might order a pizza, maybe call for some Chinese. Then call 911 for my food poisoning. So my phone is gonna be tied up. Who should I be calling? Ghostbusters? If I ever see a Terror Dog like this, I’ll text them. Same if I see that green booger Slimer!

I’VE BEEN SLIMMED!

What, like some ectoplasm dropped from the ceiling and you had instant weight loss?

WTF? SLIMMED MAN. SLIMMED.

Can you send us a pic. We don’t wanna come out if there’s no paranormal activity.

HANG ON. *Sends selfie!*

Hmmmm. No way you got slimmed. I’d say you weigh 350 easy.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I- OH. LIMED. I MEANT LIMED!

I didn’t see any citrus in that pic.

SLIMED! MY S WAS NOT WORKING! YOU COMING OR WHAT?

Nah! We’re good.
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The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra Salt And Pepper Shakers

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The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra Salt And Pepper Shakers
Ladies and gentlemen, the match you have been waiting for. No, not my butt, your face! The Goat Man vs The Chupacabra. It’s the goat vs the goat sucker. The South American sucker vs the horned half-man. Fight! Oh no. The Goat Man has left the ring and is eating all the trash. What’s this? The Chupacabra has jumped off the top rope and clothes lined the Goat Man. The Chupacabra is doing all it can to suck the blood from the Goatman, but all the goatman wants to do is eat the arena garbage…

Make every meal an episode of In Search of… Or sightings, or Ancient Aliens or whatevs. You determine who is salt and who is pepper. These crazy cryptids want to spice up your life.

Have Not So Sweet Dreams: Freddy Krueger Pillow

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Have Not So Sweet Dreams Freddy Krueger Pillow
Sweet Dreams. Not! This Freddy Krueger Pillow features Freddy’s silhouette against the background of his striped shirt. He’s coming for you when you sleep. You know it and I know it. The only thing left to do is to rest your head against this pillow and close your eyes. Then prepare to do battle with the dark demon of dreams.

*Closes eyes. Finds myself in dream world. Psyches myself up for combat with the nightmare man. Sees Freddy sitting at a park bench with a checkers board.*

Holy hell. Not this again. Just kill me already! I don’t care if you need practice. You can’t keep tutoring me like this. Fine, one more game! Then find someone else to play with.