Finders Creepers Horror Figurines

Finders Creepers
Jeepers creepers, check out Finders Creepers. They have cool one of a kind horror figurines that are like your grandma’s figurines, but not so nice after they have had a makeover. You can choose from Lizzie Borden, aliens and other assorted creepers.

Did Lizzie Borden do it? Duh! She had an axe to grind.
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Mr. Teddy Man Body Pillow

Mr. Teddy Man Body Pillow
You’re so snuggly Mr. Teddy Man. Will you make all of my dreams come true and love me forever? You’re so sweet. I wish I could lay here forever in your manly embrace. But I have to go to work and pine for you for the next 8 hours, while I wonder why I don’t have a real man. Oh no! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please don’t leave me! I can do better. I can change. I didn’t mean it! Please don’t- Oh, you aren’t leaving. I’m sorry. You really are the best. I don’t deserve you.

Mummified Talon Fairy

mummified fairy
Well damn. That is one ugly little flying freak. I thought fairies were supposed to be beautiful twinkling creatures, trailing pixie dust from their wings and farting sunshine. These guy’s trailing brown crusty dust from his wings and farting real farts that clear the whole fairy tree house out.

Look at this Mummified Talon Fairy holding it’s hands to it’s breasts like, “Don’t hate me because I’m ugly.” Too late. Don’t ugly me and I won’t hate ya.

Wait! That says “Specimen 2948”. How many of these things are there? And do we have enough insecticide to protect ourselves? Nah. Just kidding. I would never do that. But I would clean my sliding glass door to perfection so they fly into it. Then I’d start numbering my own specimens and selling them.
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Horror Movie Character Magnets

Horror Movie Character Magnets
Make your fridge a house of horrors with these cool Horror Movie Character Magnets. I mean, more horrible than it already is. For God’s sake clean up that pile of mold in the corner behind that furry ham! I’m talking to you. You know who you are. Bonesart has enough of these cool magnets to cover your fridge in horror icons.

You can choose from the shark from Jaws, Cthulhu, Jason Voorhees, The Creature from The Black Lagoon and more. It’s like a horror icon reunion and you are the host. Pretty cool stuff. Seriously, clean that fridge. Damn! Why does that cheese have green polka-dots?
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Krampus Effigy Candle

Krampus Effigy Candle

Check out this Krampus Effigy Candle. Or maybe it’s Gene Simmons. Now I’m not sure. Just like his head and set the mood. Whether it’s a romantic dinner you want or a soak in the tub, Krampus will be there. With his head on fire. And strangely, he’s not running around looking for a bucket of water to put it out.

I like Krampus. Gonna write a comedy screenplay. Here’s my pitch: It’s called Krampus on Campus. It’s a coming of age story about Krampus attending college. He parties, he lives, he love, he learns… It’s a heartwarming tale of a creature with a dream.