Nothing is classier than a giant Puffer Fish Lamp hanging from your ceiling. Decorate your home with this porcupine of the sea and always be reminded that it’s toxins can kill you when you take just one bite. It will remind you every time you hit your head on it’s many spikes.
It’s perfect for your underwater themed rooms. All puff, no fluff, just a bunch of spiky stuff. Ow! My head! Ow! My head!
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Can you pass the salt? Why is it blinking at me? Make it stop. The pepper is winking at me now. Stop flirting! I just-*blushes and giggles* Oh my, you are a peppery one. *Winks back. Opens a Japanese fan and fans self* And so are you, you old salty. I do declare, suddenly I have the vapors!
These Blinking Salt and Pepper Shakers are made for seasoning your food, but they will season your heart. Don’t let the wife see you three carrying on like that.
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Scare the hell out of anyone who dares to tailgate you on the open road with this Creature Teeth License Plate Frame. I suggest you use it with plates like 1EATUN0W. Or just, you know, drive around without a license plate. You can say that this frame ate it. I’m pretty sure license plates are strictly optional like seat belts and windshields. I wouldn’t know since I tool around on my banana seat bicycle all day. I really should clean the bananas off the seat. It attracts flies.
Go ahead and laugh, but I don’t get stuck in traffic jams, I don’t buy gas and my bicycle bell sounds friggin’ awesome! *Ding Ding, Ding Ding* “Go back in your homes kids, it only sounds like the ice cream man”.
“More like the Kool-Aid man! Fatty!” *Kid ducks back inside*
“Why you little-!”
*Ditches bike in the grass and runs through the kid’s brick wall* Oh yeah!
Eat up and make that meal extinct when you eat off of Dinosaur Plates. Have some Tex-Mex on a T-Rex, serve up the broccoli on a Brachiosaurus. Get all Pie-rannosaurus on a Tyrannosaurus! Reminds me of that time my roommate got a set of fancy Dinosaur plates. I cut a hole in the ceiling and waited for him to finish his dinner, then I throw rocks through the hole and broke ’em into a million pieces. “Meteors! Run or you’ll all be extinct!”
After he cooled down, he ordered more and informed me that the dinosaurs went extinct because the plant life died everywhere, not because of a meteor. So the next week I threw out all of his fruit and vegetables and put X’s over all the dinosaur eyes before I smashed the plates and buried them in his trash, with some chocolate syrup to simulate fossil fuel.
This Realistic mouth is…Realistic. Creepy realistic. Is it bad that I want to kiss it? Don’t worry my sweet, I’m a lover not a biter. Damn, this girl is all chin. I didn’t notice at first, but holy chin dynasty! I think we found that moon dude from the old McDonalds commercials. “It’s Mac tonight!”
No wonder they put this realistic mouth under glass. She’s a Jay Leno cloning experiment gone wrong. Or gone right I guess. The scientists were all like, “Get it under a dome quick!” Then Jay Leno walked in all whiny voiced and prissy like he does, “Hey guyth, whath going on? Any luck with my soulmate yet?”
“Just go for another ride around the block in one of your old cars Mister Leno. We’ll let you know.” *Whispers* “Never tell him. Their chins must not collide!” *Makes large explosion motion with hands*