Mirror Framed By Fingers

Mirror Framed By Fingers
Um, Okay… This is a Mirror Framed By Fingers. For reals. It has fingers all around it. Looking in this mirror is gonna be a white-knuckle ride baby. Are they all middle fingers? I have no idea, but I’m flipping this thing off like a hundred times, just so we’re even.

Fingers, fingers, on the wall, who’s got the fairest fingers of them all? I do. Mine are the fairest. You just have the most. I would count how many you have, but I don’t have enough fingers to count that high. I might just get this, cuz the mirror I currently have is all thumbs… Not fingers.

Zombies Playing Poker Figurine Collection

Zombies Playing Poker Figurine Collection
This Zombies Playing Poker Figurine Collection will look great on the shelf.

What do you have Ed? I got two pair. Two pair of fingers left cuz I’m a nasty shambling Zombie.

I got a full house. No, really. A house full of you guys parts that fell off. There’s Darryl’s hand under the table still clutching 3 of a kind. Did you notice Darryl has a tell? Every time he has good cards he scratches what’s left of his nose. It’s just a nub now. Hey, pass Carl his drink. Guy’s only got one arm left.

Hellraiser Puzzle Cube

Hellraiser Puzzle Cube
Are you ready for a Rubik’s Cube from Hell? *Crowd goes wild.* I said… Are you ready for a Rubik’s Cube from Hell? *Crowd loses their mind.* Well, check out the Hellraiser Puzzle Cube! Brought to you by the H-E-double hockey stick raiser! Solve it or don’t. Either way you are going to hell. Not sure if that will be in a hand basket or if you need to take a highway. Have to check on that. Really, this puzzle is hard as hell.

Custom Pet Skull Portraits

Custom Pet Skull Portraits
If you want to see what your pet looks like on the inside, commission one of these Custom Pet Skull Portraits. Or you could do like I did and get an X-ray of your pet, spend like two hours collaging the X-ray and the picture together with staples, glue, moist tic-tacs, duct tape and thumb tacks. Do not recommend. Unless you want your animal looking like a reanimated mutant freak.
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Ouija Board Wall Art

Ouija Board Wall Art
Ouija- Ouija- Oui-just love this Ouija Board Wall Art. Ouija Bored? Then grab a Ouija Board and entertain yourself by playing with a spiritual realm you have no understanding of whatsoever. All the kids are doing it and only half of them are possessed. The other half are rocking back and forth, wide eyed, chanting nonsense in a psyche ward. Psyche! I just made that up. See what I did there? Word play.

I’m not afraid of Ouija boards. Other kids went to boarding school. I went to Ouija boarding school. That’s where the nuns hit you with Ouija boards instead of rulers. Made me the man I am today. A man with mangled hands.