Holy Freddy On A Cross – Horror Movie Wall Sculptures

Holy Freddy On A Cross - Horror Movie Wall Sculptures
These Horror Movie Wall Sculptures from HaskellFX make for some scary home decor. Speaking of, you know what else makes for some really scary horror decor? All of those stains on my walls from where I swatted flies and never cleaned up. It’s getting so thick it looks like an impressionist painting is starting to take shape.

Anyway, you can choose from Freddy Krueger on an upside down cross patterned like his sweater, Jason Voorhees and that Leatherface guy on a Texas shaped background. Tell ’em Creepbay sent ya. It’ll be no haskell at all. You know, cuz the shop name… Haskell. *sigh* Ohhhhhhh. So you don’t like my sense of humor huh? Well, quit haskelling me! Okay, new policy everybody. Don’t hask, don’t tell. Hask-a-la-vista baby!

Who doesn’t love a Freddy crucifix? Oh yeah. God. Probably God doesn’t like that.
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Coffin Jewelry Box

Coffin Jewelry Box
This Coffin Jewelry Box is the perfect way to bury, I mean store your spooky Gothic jewelry. You can say a eulogy every time you open it up and throw a piece inside, with hand on heart. I would put a creepy doll inside to scare whoever opened it, but that’s just me. It looks good enough for a small body, so it should be good enough for your jewelry.

Bone Decor – Skull Chair

Bone Decor - Skull Chair
This Skull Chair just wants to sit in your living room and look cool. It’s a piece of furniture that goes against the grain. The Mi-Graine! Just sit right back and consider yourself it’s brains. Cuz it has none. And when you bring this thing home, be careful not to bang it against the wall, otherwise this guy will be a numb-skull. Heh! I really do love a good skull joke. So does God apparently, judging by my weird head.

This chair is way too much work anyway. Every time you move it, it scraps against the floor and leaves marks, like it is eating your hardwood floors with it’s dead upper teeth. Have you been sharpening your teeth on the floor again? Bad skull. Bad skull. I would rub your face in it, but you are nothing but face, so that seems wrong somehow.

via Fubiz

Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures

Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures
These Micro Fears Miniature Horror Figures are cool mini horror figures, cuz you can’t handle the full-sized horror.The seller has several cool figures to choose from, including Bigfoot, The Mummy, even some mini dioramas. Pretty sweet. I hope they make more. You don’t have such big feet now, do you? You big hairy, walking carpet. Why don’t you vacuum yourself you big carpet? Just messin’ with you.

Put these cool figures on your desk and play with them like action figures. I can’t wait to pit Bigfoot against The Mummy. My money is on the Mummy, because you don’t f**k with a guy brave enough to wrap himself in dirty toilet paper. What? That’s not his origin story? I thought he wrapped himself in used TP and died from diarrhea germs. That’s not how he got his costume and superpowers? Hmmm. He doesn’t seem so interesting now.
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Inflatable Crashed UFO

Inflatable Crashed UFO
What the deuce? That’s no weather balloon! Also not swamp gas! You put this Inflatable Crashed UFO in your yard and the military is gonna show up and start silencing witnesses. They don’t want you to know that inflatable aliens exist. They also want to reverse engineer inflatable UFOs and steal their superior inflatable UFO technology.

Why do you think our pool toys got so much better? Why do you think our love dolls are so irresistible? With such full lips and soft skin. So realistic… Just guessing about that last one.

And I don’t need no Men in Black showing up. I already know. I didn’t see nothing and nothing happened here. Consider my mind like my butt. Wiped.