Tag: doll

Mutant Dinosaur Poops Out Mickey Mouse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dinosaur pooping mickey mouseWTF? Just what you want to get your kid. A plush mutant dinosaur all cobbled together from various animals. Oh and did I mention that it is pooping Mickey Mouse from it’s blowhole? Hey, it also has cave drawings on it’s skin. Otherwise known as a Jurassic Tattoo.

I know how this guy feels. Reminds me of the time I gorged myself at Disney World. After a half hour of sitting on the porcelain throne, I did a Mickey myself. A huge Mickey. Had some peanut ears and everything. Then I overdid it again that night and did a Minnie, followed by a Donald. Then a Huey, Duey and Louie. I could have held it in, but I ain’t no Scrooge McDuck.

See more of this monstrosity below.
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Interior Frighting: Creepy Doll Head Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

creepy doll head lampIf you own property in the Valley of The Dolls or on the Island of Dolls, decorate your place with some appropriate lighting. Lighting that makes it look like one of your dolls has been possessed and is burning hell’s fiery furnace behind it’s eyes. It is only 99 cents with 3 days to go on Ebay.

Have fun with that. Don’t blame me when that head spins 360 degrees and starts spitting vomit everywhere. Check it out all lit up and evil below.
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Just Put The Knife Down And Nobody Gets Hurt: Haunted Elf On Shelf Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

elf on the shelfYou see that Elf on a Shelf doll? The one holding the knife? Well, it was recently sold to some poor idiot for a Best offer of somewhere under $39.99 on Ebay. The seller was selling it because as soon as she took the elf off the shelf and put it away, strange stuff started happening. Let this be a lesson to us all. KEEP THE ELF ON THE SHELF! Or else!
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Naked And Flabby Hedgehog Dolls

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naked hedgehogWhat the f**k am I looking at? At first I thought it was an adult version of another Grumpy Old Men movie. Turns out it is just some naked hedgehogs. Just another day surfing ebay, finding more stuff that I can’t un-see. Their junk is all sacky and flabby and I’m not even sure if they have their wieners tucked between their legs or not. They appear to be in just as much terror as we are over their existence. More shots below.
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Bald Headed Crying Dumpster Monkey

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creepymonkey
Not sure where Ebay seller Hookamonky is finding the items that they’re selling. From the looks of this ugly, worn out, chewed up and spit out 1,000 times monkey, I would have to say that the seller is scraping the bottom of the dumpster barrel. This thing is horrid! No wonder the monkey is crying. He doesn’t want to be put up on Ebay, being told to do a little money dance on top of a piano, shaking its money-maker for potential Ebay buyers. Read more “Bald Headed Crying Dumpster Monkey”