Tag: dracula

Missing Monster Stickers

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Missing Monster Stickers
Have you seen these monsters? Me either. The monsters are disappearing. Maybe they were abducted by monster hunters. You can help spread the word with these cool Missing Monster Stickers. Eh. They’re probably all at the same bar, doing the Monster Mash, which to this day is still a graveyard smash. In case you were wondering. I hope they find these guys so they can get back to work making movies and stuff.

*Shows the missing poster to cashier at local store.* Yes, that’s very funny. Point to me. I’m the monster. I’ve never heard that one before.
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Dracula Vs Van Helsing Chess Set

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Dracula Vs Van Helsing Chess Set
Dracula, meet Van Helsing. FIGHT! This Dracula Vs Van Helsing Chess Set is perfect for fans of Vampires and vampire hunters. I saw this set and just had to share it. You know, get it off my chess. I mean chest. I’m getting my words confused again. That happens sometimes, like that one time I told that lady, “Hey, nice chest set!” and got slapped. That was the last time I commented on a chess game. People are so touchy. She did have a nice chest set, but that’s beside the point.

Anyway, this is a sweet chess set for you eggheads who know how to play. My brain capacity maxes out at checkers. King me!

Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder

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Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder
You know, some girls look like monsters before they put on their makeup. Not you. You are beautiful. Never change. But some girls. Like that one down the street with the unibrow, who I never see during full moons, yet her front yard is always covered in chicken carcasses the day after. Yeah, that one is a real minger! Don’t tell her I said so. Anyway, this Universal Monsters Makeup Brush Holder is perfect for all of you beautiful and lovely creepbay-reading ladies who love monsters. Now you can put your face on with Dracula, the mummy and the rest of the gang.

Horror Movie Monster Clocks

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Horror Movie Monster Clocks
What time is it? Monster time baby! These Horror Movie Monster Clocks from WigOutGraphics cover all of the classic Universal movie monsters. They have Frankenstein’s monster, Wolfman, Dracula, The Mummy, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and more. These clocks are perfect for your own haunted house or mad scientists laboratory. That’s the one that isn’t the bathroom, right? Oh yeah. That’s lavatory, however the hell that makes sense. Is there lava in there? No. If there was, I would have peed on it and created some cool steam, then enjoyed a steam bath. Stupid English language.

Hang them all on your walls and have a Monster Mash. Or a Graveyard Bash. Whichever!
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Custom Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress

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Custom Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress
Man, Nosferatu gets all the girls. Lucky guy. If I was clinging to that body the way this Nosferatu Vampire Tank Dress is, I’d get slapped. Is it a tank top? Is it a dress? I have no idea, but Nosferatu is on the scene, creeping around that girl’s boobies. Oddly enough I’ve heard the same phrase uttered about me. I have to work on my game. Right now I’m at checkers level, but one day I’m gonna be in the world championships of hitting on pretty women. Mind if I practice? Here are some pick up lines:

If I told you I loved Nosferatu, would you hold him against me?

Mind if I rub his bald head?

You must have turned me into a vampire girl, cuz I’m up all night thinking about you.

I think I need a lot of work.