Is it a book or a wallet? It’s both. A Frankenstein Book Wallet. Book ’em Franky! Now you can keep all of your important stuff in this wallet that looks like a book. That way no one will steal your stuff, cuz people don’t read anymore. In fact, I don’t even know what this book is about. I just call books paper movies that I will never see. No, I’m not Ill-literate. That means a sick person who reads. How dare you excuse me of fancy book learning.
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Tag: etsy
This Alien Necktie Is Out Of This World
This Alien Necktie has just left Saturn and is headed toward your anus. I mean Uranus. So… Just make sure you hide your hide. Like my dreams, this tie is full of little green men and stars. Your boss will hate it because it isn’t boring and stupid. Which is exactly why you will love it. That’s okay, cuz your boss is stupid. You know why? Cuz he doesn’t have this tie. Basically he sucks. Don’t be like him.
Monster Light Switch Cover Plates
*Flips switch* Ow! Cut my finger on the teeth again. Ow! Damnit! Now I probably have an infection from Monster saliva. What the hell. I didn’t need the lights on anyway. Gonna use candles from now on. Stupid Monster Light Switch Cover Plates. Plus, that puddle of drool/saliva on the floor under the light switch is probably a safety hazard. These guys still aren’t housebroken. And I’m sick of brushing their teeth once a month! That’s more than I brush my own.
If you don’t mind all that, you can choose from this one or this one.
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Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees Piggy Banks – This Little Piggy Went Kill, Kill, Kill
Horror pigs! Pigs of horror! These Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees Piggy Banks from PigPatrol are a great way to save your money. This little piggy went to Elm Street. This little piggy went to Camp Crystal Lake. Both wallowed around in s**t and eventually got cut up for bacon, but that’s another story. You know what Jason piggy says? “Oink oink oink. Snort snort snort.”
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Gross Eyeball Pen
This Gross Eyeball Pen is nasty. The problem is that it sees everything you write. You won’t have any secrets when you use this pen. You write something it doesn’t like, then it’s gonna eyeball you. It seems to have some festering blisters on it too. Yeah you ugly eyeball pen. I bet you show it a mirror and it wrecks its ugly self. I’m gonna make a special single sunglass for this thing. It will never look cool, but this will help.