Sugar skull huh? Let me take a lick! Hmmm. Tastes like metal, but I do like the texture. Guess I gotta supply my own sugar. Nah, I don’t, cuz this Sterling Silver Vampire Sugar Skull Necklace is gonna look sweet on you ladies. Sweet as sugar. I mean, I guess a man could wear it too. No shame in that game. If you get it as a gift just make sure you say fangs. It’s only polite. Fangs you very much!
Tag: etsy
Set of 4 Mothman Cups
Now you can have a Mothman sighting every time you take a drink. This Set of 4 Mothman Cups gets the party started and fulfills the Mothman prophecies: Getting drunk AF while drinking from a monster cup.
The Mothman is a cryptid that was originally spotted in West Virginia, but you will see him everyday. He’s part man, part moth, all motha’f’er! A total badass. He’s got the wings to be your wingman. And when he scores you the chicks, he’s flying into a distant light like the majestic bast*rd that he is.
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Krampus Mask and Suit
Hey everybody! It’s Krampus. Don’t tell your grampus! Get on your skateboard an jump him with a rampus. Gather everyone around, tell the whole campus. If it’s dark go and light a lampus. I’m so excited I got a crampus and now my pants are dampus!
This Krampus Mask and Suit is the shizz! I guess it could also double as the abominable snowman. Check out that nose ring. Dude should be plowing a field somewhere, getting whipped by a farmer. As for the outfit, I had no idea he was into bondage. Whatever floats your boat dude. Do your thing. I don’t judge.
Handcrafted Critter Horror Toy
Look. A Critter Horror toy! Critters are the worst. You get with the wrong woman in the wrong part of town and you got nothin’ but critters all over your junk and the pharmacist is all like, “This’ll get rid of ’em” so you lather your firepole and bean bags up real good and nothin’. You still got critters everywhere, bitin’ and itchin’, making your junk feel like a whopper cuz it’s all flame broiled down there at this point. These guys are nasty.
Clear Half Fetus For Your Wall
This Clear Half Fetus needs a womb with a view. You decorate with this thing and it will look like you got angry and just chucked a womb-y slimey fetus against the wall like it was a basketball and now it’s just embedded there. Nothing but net- *Splat* Oh nevermind. I like how it has that “in the womb” look. Icky and sticky. Somebody slap that things ass and hose it off. It’s a great conversation piece. If you have the womb for it.
I feel like it should have an umbilical cord hanging down that doubles as a phone though.