Hope you pick a winner. Ya booger. This Pick A Winner Booger Soap shines a bright light on that disgusting habit you have. Picking your smell-hole for slimey green nuggets. I don’t know about you, but I usually wait until late at night, then flick ’em at the wall. Which explains why I go to bed with a white wall and wake up to a speckled green one. DIY room makeover. Take that one HGTV.
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Tag: etsy
Why Not? Stackable Animal Fetuses
Stackable Animal Fetuses. Why the hell not? They are like building blocks I guess. The building blocks of life. Meet rhino fetus, elephant fetus and hippo fetus. Hippo fetus is the worst. That fatty is always leeching vital nutrients and minerals from the others. I don’t know. Put ’em on your desk. Stack ’em on top of each other. Spin ’em like a top until the fetus is dizzy. I just have no idea here. I’ll have to gestate on it for awhile….
I’ve decided that they are the “in” thing right now. In utero!
Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest
I wonder what’s in that Blood Dragon Gothic Mini Chest. It’s got chains so you know there’s something dangerous and horrible lurking within. Maybe a blood dragon! Wait! What is a blood dragon? A dragon who feasts on blood? A dragon who volunteers at the blood drive. An anemic dragon? The possibilities are endless. Man, I hate mysteries! I want to open it! I must know! Okay guys, I’m going for it. One. Two. Three. Opening the lid-
Uhhhhh. Yeah, I can’t really talk about what I just saw. Words can not describe it. Think horror on the level of all three golden girls naked and engaging in group activities that are just plain wrong, when George Costanza walks in… then add a blood dragon. *shudders*
Weird Octopus Backpack
Check out this Octopus backpack. It has a giant head that you can shove all of your stuff in. It almost looks like a big slab of meat hanging off of your back. Skin colored meat. With two eyes. It commands you as it slowly sinks into your back muscles, day after day, which ache from doing your master’s bidding.
Custom Alien Head Magnets
Alien heads! These Custom Alien Head Magnets finally allow me to collect alien heads in a way that DOES NOT involve chopping their filthy heads off whenever they try to abduct me and take me aboard their spaceships for tests.
Later that night at 3 A.M.
*Stands over a decapitated alien body, breathing heavy, with a machete in my hand.* “I told you, I don’t need a checkup! Now contemplate your dead-side manner you gray bastard!”
