Tag: etsy

Chupacabra Skeleton Faux-Scientific Print

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Chupacabra Skeleton Faux-Scientific Print
The Chupacabra is real. You know it and I know it. Also, the government scientists who accidentally let it escape the lab? They know it too. So let’s all just stop pretending and let’s address the white elephant pale goat-sucker sitting in the middle of the room. Now that we have established that fact, all that’s left is to stay the hell away from it. And also to get some cool art to put on our wall. To remind us to stay alert for this beast. This Chupacabra Skeleton Faux-Scientific Print is awesome. Faux? Fo sure!

Remember, if you see him, stay the hell away from this thing. He’s likely to give you some lab created disease that will make you rise from the dead and be his undead vampire servant.

Frankenstein’s Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases

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Frankenstein's Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases
What a lovely couple. Let’s hope they don’t reproduce. But enough about me and my wife. These Frankenstein’s Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases are the perfect gift for that couple that has a monster of a marriage. I would put these on my bed, but it already looks like that when we are both laying there seething at each other.

You monster!

No, you’re the monster!

I’m Doctor Frankenstein so you must be my monster!

If I’m the monster than you are the bride of the monster!

You’re the monster! Infinity!

Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends

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Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends
This pair of Bigfoot Sasquatch Metal Bookends is the perfect place for all of my UFO and unexplained stuff books. I’m always researching. Gotta beat him at his own big feet game. One day I’ll spot him and take a picture that will make me rich. Look at that couple holding hands and pointing up at that book. They have no idea that he is on the other side. What a bunch of rubes.

I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper

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I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper
I love you guys. And to show you, here’s some I Love The Poop Out Of You Toilet Paper. I really do you know. Glad to help you evacuate your colon. This is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for anyone, because we all have to poop. I know that I want others to think about me every time they wipe.

It’s functional. It’s thoughtful. It gets your butt clean. Give them chocolates to make them poop and then give them the gift of wiping. Like my dad used to say to my mom, “Here’s something for your mouth and something for your butt. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Gothic Coffin Coin Purse

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Gothic Coffin Coin Purse
Some of you Goths are starting to get up there in age. It happens. Well, now you can be that cool old lady with the spider and death tattoos who carries this Gothic Coffin Coin Purse and takes forever to pay. I’ll be the guy further back in line making the comment about how Stevie Nicks didn’t age so well. Feel free to step back and punch me. What do you mean Stevie Nicks isn’t goth? Oh well. Goth, Gypsy… It’s all the same to me as long as you keep those caravans off my lawn and don’t steal any of the neighborhood children.

That reminds me of a good joke. What kind of computer does Stevie Nicks have? A PC? Nope. A Mac. A Fleetwood Mac. I’m a riot. That’s probably why the cops show up so often.
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