Tag: etsy

Chibi Cthulhu

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Chibi Cthulhu
Chibi Cthulhu is back! And this time he brought lollipops. Where do you think he gets his powers? The ancient evil has never looked so cute and cuddly. You can get them in any color you want, or with different wing colors. Hey, those are dum-dums. No, I’m not dissing baby Cthulhu. Those lollipops are dum-dums. Heh. Lollipops are stupid.

Pro tip: Never take something called a Molly-pop when it’s offered to you at a nightclub. Otherwise you end up rolling around in the street, trying to put out the fire of pretty lights that are clinging to you and singing softly. Always clean your ears and make sure you hear LOLLIPOP.
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Jason Voorhees Hockey Mask Keychain

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Jason Voorhees Hockey Mask Keychain
Put your keys on this Jason Voorhees Hockey Mask Keychain and you will never lose them again. I never did find out what hockey team this guy was on. Not a big sports guy. I had no idea that hockey was a one man sport that consisted of going out into the woods and killing stupid people. I thought that was just a redneck thing. You learn something new everyday.

Bob’s Skull From The Dresden Files

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Bob's Skull From The Dresden Files
Hey Bob. What’s up? This is Bob. Bob is a skull. Bob has all kinds of freaky magic voodoo writing on his skull. I’ve never seen the Dresden Files or read the book, but I’ve always admired Bob here. I’ve been working for weeks, scraping designs in my scalp with a screwdriver so my skull can look awesome after I die. All I got was a headache and the X-Ray shows that I accidentally drew something like looks like the devil playing tic-tac-toe.

Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons

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Sewn Bones Plush Animal Skeletons
Floozey (Hey,didn’t we meet in a seedy bar one night?) makes these cool, cuddly and creepy Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons. Experience the softer side of skeletons. You can choose from rats, a two-headed Pug, a Dragon’s head and more. At least these bones will never be broken.

I’m gonna get the rat and name it Cal C. Um. Maybe I’ll get the Pug too and call their heads Ribby Allen and Mia Marrow. Hell, I’ll just have a plush menagerie of bone pets.
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UFO Alien Abduction Sign

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UFO Alien Abduction Sign
Let your overnight guests know that aliens frequent your bedroom. This UFO Alien Abduction Sign will let them know that they could potentially be lying in bed minding their own business, when a beam of blue light lifts them out of bed.

They tried that shizz on me once. I was floating and rising up, then I heard their machinery straining and smelled smoke. Once their tractor beam broke, I fell back on my bed like a floppy fat fish and thanked God for my second helping of Cheetos and three bowls of ice cream. I win f***ers!