Tentacle Headband

Tentacle Headband
Tentacle Headband sounds like some kind of octopus themed heavy metal head banging group, but it’s not. It’s a cool new piece of head gear that brings you one suckered tentacle closer to Cthulhu. It’s made from wiggly rubber that gives it an authentic and likely gross feel. Which is what you want from a tentacle.

So it will feel like Cthulhu actually has his tentacle on your head. Not in a pervy way. Get your head out of the gutter. Like he’s saying, “You look FABULOUS. So proud of you. Gonna make you look awesome today. Why do you think I’ve waited for like millions of years ya silly goose. The ancient evil of style has awakened more fab than ever.” *Tentacles mimic hand snaps all around* “Let’s do that foundation girl. How’s the love life. uh-huh. Uh-huh!”

Large Spider Belt Buckle

Large Spider Belt Buckle
This Large Spider Belt Buckle is just the spider I need to stand guard outside of my man-junk like a bouncer. What it would be guarding against, I have no idea. You ladies aren’t exactly beating down my zipper. Well, unless you count a few Karate kicks.

Just noticed. This thing has 10 legs. Wait. 10 legs? Just Googled it. Some spiders have 10 legs. WTF? You weren’t creepy and leggy enough? I’m talking to you too Heidi Klum. And you Kelly Ripa.

What has 14 legs, the perfect sized waist, two heads and a cool belt buckle? Answer: Heidi Klum and Kelly Ripa tied together with a belt bearing this buckle while they yak endlessly and slap at each other.
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3-D Horror Houses

https://www.etsy.com/shop/themoonlightmuse?ga_order=price_desc&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=spooky&ref=sr_gallery_36
These 3-D Horror Houses from themoonlightmuse are spooky as hell. They look just like the real houses. The Psycho house, the Adams family and more.

Like my house, they look fine from the outside, but inside? Inside of my house, blood drips down the wall, spirits talk to you and the tap water is all brown and nasty. The blood is because I like to throw tomato sauce against the wall, the spirits talking to you are just me trying to communicate over my 6 foot tall stacks of hoarded newspapers and the tap water only flows brown cuz I mixed up the pipes up when I fixed the crapper last week. See? There’s a reasonable explanation for everything.
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All 47 Vice Presidents With Octopuses On Their Heads

All 47 Vice Presidents With Octopuses On Their Heads
This ink/watercolor print goes Full Veeptopus. Showing all 47 Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads. I know what you’re thinking. Why just the Veeps? Every politician acts like they have an octopus on their head.

Well, I have no idea. I just know that the President is a puppet, being controlled by one giant octopus that lives in the whitehouse ceiling. It doesn’t have suckers on it’s tentacles. Because we are the suckers.
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Medical Dental Dummy

Medical Dental Dummy
Ummm, no. Just no. The seller says that this Medical Dental Dummy was used at a college in Los Altos Hills, California as a practice patient for dental students. Care to guess how many suicides took place there? I have no idea, but I would have taken one look at this thing and tossed myself out the nearest window. And if I landed on the grass to find out I was on the first floor? I would have ran back inside and taken the elevator to the top and done it again.

Check out a close up of the teeth in the second pic below. Kids got some choppers. He looks stoned as hell. Like, “Dude, just do whatever. I am so baked. Let me help you learn dentistry bra!”
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