This Spider Coin Purse (PDF pattern) is perfect for when you leave your web to do some grocery shopping. That will be $103.86 please. WTF? For a tube of hemorrhoid cream and a roll of lifesavers? I guess the economy really has gone to hell. Oh well. I’ll just pay for it in quarters and nickels so I can show off my cool spider coin purse.
As a bonus, this guy gets fatter with every coin you put in him, making him look all beefed up and strong.
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Etsy seller Tatestastees owes me a lunch. Thanks for making me hungry and offering nothing but tasty looking felt food. I tried to eat one of your cornish game hens and it gave me cotton mouth. On the plus side, I had the softest poop of my life. I might do it again. Very relaxing and cleansing. (Word of warning. DO NOT mistype the seller name. Tatespastees only has stuff to cover your nips. Glad to pass that on.)
If you have a felt food fetish, welcome to heaven. Tatestastees has all kinds of felt food. French fries, meat, pizza, lasagna and much more. Click through for more images.
Read more “Felt Food: Looks Delicious, Is Not Nutritious”
Need some crib light? Get a rib light! Doctor, my lamp has stopped working! I need an IV stat! Get me those rib spreaders! Keep an eye on the patients vitals while I change the bulb!
Need a shade on your rib lamp? Then put some meat on your bones. The only thing missing is a pull cord to turn it on and off, that looks like an intestine. Only $100.
Read more “Rib Cage Accent Lamp: Ribbed For Your (Reading) Pleasure”
This strange New Age Squirrel taxidermy rug is all you need to meditate, alleviate and resonate with otherworldly forces. Channel an ancient Atalantean priestess. Maybe even see into a past life. Ask the magic squirrel carcass a question and if it’s glowing crystal crown lights up, it means that the light entities roaming the astral plain have an answer for you.
The quartz crystal points embedded in this dead squirrel’s head are her “crown”, lit with LEDs from within. More images below.
I was new agey like you once, until I channeled Elvis. I knew I was successful when I squeezed cheeks and released a 40 second fart. Obviously it was the old fat Elvis. Smelled like a dump truck hauling rotten peanut butter and banana sandwiches. That’s enough to get anyone to put their magic crystals and pyramid hats away forever.
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Let these Star Wars candles from the dark side, light up your room. Darth Vader finds your lack of spooky Star Wars candles disturbing. Don’t disappoint him. Besides you need some extra light right? I know I could use some extra light. I guess the electric company doesn’t appreciate being paid in piggybank coins and lint. The joke’s on them though. I just connected to the neighbors Wi-Fi to type this. Who names their Network Connection “Neighbor creeper with the f***ed up website not invited”? Did we get new neighbors? I didn’t see a moving truck. He has a website too. Cool. We have something in common. Now if they just had these in star wars vehicles.
Read more “Spooky Star Wars Candles”