Scary Stilettos And Horror Heels

horror movie shoes
Etsy seller BabaRegali makes all kinds of custom high heels, but the best are the ones based on horror movies. There’s Chuckie, Friday The 13th, Freddy Kreuger and more. Below are just a few samples of their work, which combines the horror of movies with the horror of wearing high heels. Not that I would know anything about that.

Shut up, it was just that one time! I only put them on to stomp a few bugs. I just forgot I was wearing them for a few hours, that’s all. The nightgown was to protect me from mosquitoes! They are bad this time of year. The bra? Yeah that was all me just being a perv. I’ll own that one.
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Clock Hands Wall Clock

clock hands
Are numbers too much for you? If you can’t figure out how to read a clock by using the hands and numbers, this Clock Hands Wall Clock takes it down to basics for you, showing just the hands. It’s like this one, but not quite.

I don’t need no stinkin’ numbers on my fancy timepiece. I tell time like every other American. By what’s on TV. Which also tells you the day. For instance if Better Call Saul is on, I know it’s Monday night at 10. Thing is, I don’t do well when people are watching DVDs all damn day. I’m trying to figure out the day and time people! What day is it? What year am I in? *Cries*

Women’s Hot Dog Stretch Pants

womens hot dog pants
Now, normally when I meet a fine lady sporting a hot dog, I run the other way. But these Women’s Hot Dog Stretch Pants are the exception. It’s like I always say, “A woman with a hot dog inside the pants is a problem, but a woman with with hot dogs all over? On the outside? That’s a keeper”. Yeah, I’ve actually had to say that. Through tears. Crazy world.

You can get all kinds of fun food stretch pants for your buns as well as other styles. They cloned that girl in the pic below to show you how they all look.
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Call of Cthulhu Playing Cards

cthulu playing cards
Want to spice up your Poker Night? Invite Cthulhu! These Call of Cthulhu Playing Cards feature all kinds of characters based on the Cthulhu mythos. The artwork depicts a selection of eldritch horrors and Lovecraft himself on one card.

I have a full house, Cthulhu high. Let me see that. I’ve never seen Cthulhu high. Yep, he definitely looks stoned. Take your card game to the next horror-filled level with these officially licensed Call of Cthulhu playing cards. *singing* You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em…* Fun fact: I used to think that song was about pizza. I fold mine. Big gut, small mouth.

Gonna go grab a slice or three now and let the cheese drip until I have tentacles all over my chin.
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Richard Nixon Fighting A Sabertooth Tiger Art Print

nixon fighting a sabertooth
This fine art print of Tricky Dick “I am not a crook” Nixon shows Richard Thrillhouse Nixon battling a sabertooth tiger. He’s got him down and is pouncing all over him, getting ready to punch him in the face with his brass knuckles.

I didn’t like Richard Nixon before, but now the man is one of my personal heroes, right up there with Pee-Wee Herman and whoever the guy was who invented Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. You got your chocolate in my peanut butter. No you got YOUR peanut butter in my chocolate. Who cares? Damn that’s good!
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