Tag: fun

Banana Umbrella

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banana umbrella
This banana umbrella is looking ripe and ready to protect you from a hard rain. Just peel it to deploy your umbrella and go bananas. Bananas are an excellent source of potassium. You know what else is an excellent source of potassium? Mushrooms.

Although I wouldn’t pick them from the woods. It’s really hard to get your daily dose of potassium when you are being chased by elves with melty faces and riding praying mantis bikes. I think I got my potassium that day, but only after I saw my friend turn into the demon king of drippy ear wax and get eaten by a Venus Fly trap that was two pizzas slammed together. After that I woke up in the microwave inside of a giant hot pocket. Turns out the hot pocket was my sleeping bag and the microwave was the sun, burning my pale nerd skin.
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Garbage Pantz: Pants For Your Garbage

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garbage pantz
Garbage Pantz are plastic covers that you can put on your outdoor trash can, so that it looks like it’s wearing pants. Sadly, it looks exactly like some of the bin buckets I see walking around Walmart. In fact, you may be walking down the street one day and mistake this for one of your large buddies.

I thought I saw Mike today. Really? That’s cool. Well, I drove by real fast, but I’m sure it’s him. He just seemed to be standing there in the same spot, when I passed again. That doesn’t sound like Mike. We better get in the car and make sure he’s okay.

Fifteen minutes later…

Is that him? I can’t tell. Looks like his big butt. Those thighs are all him too. Nobody wears husky like him. I’m going across the street for a better look.

No. Wasn’t him. Just some weird garbage can with jeans on it.

Wait look! There he is at the McDonald’s across the street, force feeding two big macs in his mouth with a fistful of fries. Thank God he’s alright. He’s lucky to have friends like us.

Dog Rider Costume Harness

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dog harness costume barbarian
Sweet! Thanks to these Dog Rider Harnesses, now my dog will look really cool when I race him against the other dogs in the park. It’s not so much racing as it is my dog chasing other dogs and mounting them. It usually ends with an old woman crying and clutching a tiny shaky pooch to her chest, while my dog takes a poop of shame and then we get away through some bushes.

You can choose all kinds of dog riders: There’s a cowboy, a jockey, a mailman, a monkey, even a cat!
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Menorasaurus Rex

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t-rex menorahCelebrate Hanukkah with this cool Menorasaurus Rex and celebrate by lighting candles on a T-Rex. You probably already have a menorah, but I bet it isn’t a gold dinosaur. It is a gold painted plastic dino toy with metal candle cups attached.

Make your home into a Jewrassic Park this holiday season with this special piece of holiday decor. You can display it year round.

Thanks Jeremy.
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Santaur Christmas Tree Ornament

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santaur ornamentHey look! It’s Santa in centaur form, sporting a big old booty and a buff chest. The head, arms, and torso are all Santa, but the body and legs are all horse. This basically give him more horsepower so he can deliver presents faster. You know. Like those socks and sweaters that he knows I hate, yet still gets me every year.

He’s magical. He’s mythical. He’s merry. He’s also, apparently, a friggin’ Pokemon. I can’t wait to see what he evolves into next year. He’ll probably have dragon wings and a snake body and turn all evil once the stress of Christmas Eve gets to be too much. Naturally, he will set fire to whole towns. Eventually another mythical creature will have to intervene. Jesus! Who else ya gonna call? FIGHT!

But wait. Here comes Krampus! The carnage! Streets on fire! Reindeers impaled on church steeples!We are all screwed!
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