Mommie Dearest / Joan Crawford Limited Edition Ceiling Fan Blades

mommy dearestNo more wire hangers! Okay. Okay. Damn. Chill mom! Stop beating me with the damn things already. I’m going plastic, I swear! These Mommie Dearest / Joan Crawford Limited Edition Ceiling Fan Blades will remind you to call your mom on Mother’s Day or to move several states away.

Good thing that kid didn’t have these blades on her ceiling fan. Joan Crawford would have REALLY freaked the hell out, ripping the blades off fan and beating her with them.

Bonus video of Mommy Dearest below. And I thought my mom freaked out when she stepped on LEGO pieces!
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Sit Your Full Moon On This Werewolf Rug

werewolf rugAaahoo! Werewolves of London! Don’t wait for a full moon to get a Werewolf rug like this one. I don’t know about you, but I am in no shape to be chasing a Werewolf down anyway. Plus, I’m fresh out of silver bullets. Why do you need a gun to fire a silver bullet at a Werewolf anyway?

Werewolves are all about the hunger. So all you have to do is dangle a chicken carcass in the woods and wait. I would put the silver bullet into the carcass or maybe inside of a bologna sandwich. Werewolves love them some sandwiches. Most hairy beasts do. Myself included. Once he tears into that food, he’s gonna bite the bullet and now you got yourself a new rug.

But does it change into a human rug and then back again during a full moon? Because you don’t want company over with a dead human laid out on the floor. Murder charges can’t be far behind.
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Oh Snap!: Rubber Band Pillow

rubber band pillowThis Rubber Band Pillow looks so comfy and squishy. I just want someone to lay their head on it so I can start snapping rubber bands against their noggin.

This pillow is made with a rainbow of upcycled rubber bands. I want to touch it. Snap it all day long. Test it’s bounciness by throwing it at someone. Only $75.

Rib Cage Accent Lamp: Ribbed For Your (Reading) Pleasure

rib lampNeed some crib light? Get a rib light! Doctor, my lamp has stopped working! I need an IV stat! Get me those rib spreaders! Keep an eye on the patients vitals while I change the bulb!

Need a shade on your rib lamp? Then put some meat on your bones. The only thing missing is a pull cord to turn it on and off, that looks like an intestine. Only $100.
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The Real Burning Man: Incredible Melting Man Candles…Mandles

burning man candlesIncredible Melting Mandles. Man + Candles = Mandles. These candles are like little zombies that you can watch melt to the ground in three hours. Light him up, watch his last hours on this Earth. Only $15. from Etsy seller Stexe.

Click through for more pictures and an awesome rock solid video demo of these mandles. You’ll want to get yourself a little trash bin to go with these guys.
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