This skull business card holder is perfect for undertakers and such. It really makes an impression and insures that they won’t just throw out your card when they leave. Nothing says repeat business like cards in a human skull.
The cards really should have a brain design though. And the person should have to reach deep into the skull to get one and get their hand all squishy and wet. See, this is why my businesses never get off the ground.
Sweet! This Loch Ness Monster Salt and Pepper set will complete my mythical creature salt and pepper shaker collection. I already have Bigfoot, the Chupacabra and Mothman!
I thought I saw the Loch Ness Monster once, but those humps sticking out of the water were just a family of overturned obese people in inner tubes. They went all sideways when I zipped past on my jetski. Haha! Take that you-
*slams against the side of a boat. Falls into water. Sinking. Snake like form swims toward me. Circles around. Farts. Then leaves laughing.*
Did I see Nessie? The nurses say it was the morphine, but I’ll always believe that Nessie saved me. He disrespected me for sure, but those farts brought me to the surface…I know what I saw. I know what I smelled.
How’s this for a creepy centerpiece? Only on Etsy could you stick a doll’s head between two candles and call it a centerpiece. Maybe for dinner in hell. If you ever find yourself in the fiery depths of hades, you are sure to see this centerpiece on some table so that the likes of Hitler and Josef Mengele can admire it as they eat bowl after steaming bowl of s**t soup for all eternity.
I for one don’t need any demented Toddlers and Tiaras on my dinner table. Can you imagine the foul demons this thing would summon when lit up? Now I’m gonna have nightmares.
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Damn. That’s one giant lobster claw. It’s perfect for that Spongebob Squarepants themed room you have been decorating. It can go right next to your crabby patty snack tray. Fun fact: I tried square pants for about a year, but my sharp butt corners kept tearing my couch to pieces. That is such BS that that guy can sit on any furniture.
Anyway, this giant lobster claw lamp will look great in any nautical themed room. It even has a spool of rope around the bottom like some now-dead sailor tried to catch it. Nope, Didn’t work. All you gave him was a lobster bracelet while his other claw snapped you clean in half.
No way I’m getting this lamp. With my faulty electrical system, this thing would reanimate every time I got a power surge. Playing “Turn the lamp on and see if you still have fingers after” is not a fun game. I already play a similar game every time I add another plug to that one mass of plugs I call my “one outlet to rule them all”. If it sparks that’s how you know it’s working. At least that leaves my fingers intact as it’s frying my body.
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This “Spark of Life” skull lamp from Etsy seller jackofthedust will light up your room with grey matter. Usually having brains splattered all over your room is something to clean up before the cops get there, but the only thing spilling from this cranium is light. There are several colors available.
It’s like this skull just had the mother of all ideas and the light bulb in his head went nuclear. Like that time I had the idea to make a website full of weird stuff you can buy online. Now I’m buying a bunch of crazy stuff and am basically a hoarder, plus I’m working like everyday. And do you guys appreciate it? Do you? I’m just messin’ with ya. You guys are the best. Keep sending in tips about weird messed up or weird cool stuff. You see that picture above, that’s your brain on Creepbay.
Read more “Life Size Skull Lamp: Hey, Your Brains Are Glowing”