Damn, these Monster Mugs from ScravisMugs are ugly. Those are some faces only a mother could love, even if that mother did have to take ’em down to the river and drown them cuz they so ugly. My beer better not taste like monster brains. At least I can have some company when getting drunk now thanks to these ugly heads. I will have an ugly head to drink from and the mug will have an ugly head drinking from it. We were made for each other.
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Tag: monster
Monster Light Switch Cover Plates
*Flips switch* Ow! Cut my finger on the teeth again. Ow! Damnit! Now I probably have an infection from Monster saliva. What the hell. I didn’t need the lights on anyway. Gonna use candles from now on. Stupid Monster Light Switch Cover Plates. Plus, that puddle of drool/saliva on the floor under the light switch is probably a safety hazard. These guys still aren’t housebroken. And I’m sick of brushing their teeth once a month! That’s more than I brush my own.
If you don’t mind all that, you can choose from this one or this one.
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Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters
Dude, I love Creature From The Black Lagoon Coasters. The way you go up, up, up and get super high, then you fall so fast and the coaster goes all loop-the-loop and turns you upside down, so you puke in the face of the guy behind you and feel like you would rather be dead. Good times. Wait. Nevermind. Not those kinds of coasters. These are the kind that you set your drinks on. Much safer. I’m a daredevil when it comes to placing drinks on things. If I had these coasters, I would drink two drinks at once, so I could have a Creature double feature.
Baby Cthulhu Toy Art Dolls
Well, looks like Cthulhu spawned some more little terrors. Dude needs to keep his tentacles in his pants. These Baby Cthulhu Toy Art Dolls look cute and cuddly, but they will probably suck your face off and use your nose as a pacifier while the rest of your skin just dangles. While you’re running around screaming without a face. Nasty, I know. It’s how they roll. They should be named pestilence and death. Get ’em away from me! Okay, they’re cute, but totally not worth the loss of my face.
Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch
Let me see what time it is. I don’t want to be late for- DEAR EFFING GOD! This Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch won’t give you the time, but it might give you a heart attack. What time is it guv-ner? You dare ask me for the time you timeless cretin? Here let me show you. *Guy screams and holds his head.* There’s the time! It’s teeth and tentacle time! Look closer! It’s half past horror and a quarter to insanity! Now off with you, before I show you the alarm function!
If this watch takes a licking,but keepson ticking, it can die,cuz I ain’t lickin’ that.