Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas

Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas
Are you interested in these awesome Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas? Yeah? Going once. Going twice. Skulled to the highest bidder. I almost said bidet. They will not be sold to the highest bidet because 1) It’s too tall and 2)bidets don’t buy things. They just shoot water up your bum-hole.

Now that we have that cleared up, or should I say now that your butt has been sprayed clean, I can tell you about these fancy decorative skulls from etsy seller PoorYorickSkulls. They come in all kinds of styles and colors. Not all kinds of shapes cuz you know, skulls is skulls. My uncle used to say that. I would tug on his sleeve and say, “Isn’t she pretty uncle? She has a nice face.” He would look and say, “Eh. Skulls is skulls. But she’s got some nice *beep*. It rhymes with holes. My uncle was an ass. I should really visit him in jail someday soon.

Anywho these skulls is awesome. Here’s a song I wrote.

These skulls ain’t got no souls.
Ain’t got no use for Doctor Scholls.
Magic so hype,
They keep your daughters off poles.
Decorate yer house,
They frighten moles.
It’s got a nose hole,
And some eye holes,
You know you love it,
So shut your pie-holes.

*Drops mic. Walks away.*
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Two Headed Calf

Two Headed Calf
The trouble with a two headed calf is that you never know what they are trying to say. They say every MOO twice.

MOO-MOO.

What? What is it girl? You complimenting me on my outfit? Yes it is a nice moo-moo. Just something I wear around the house.

It’s a cute calf, but I’m not sure I like it. I think she’s two-faced.
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Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen

Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen
Check out this Burning Witch Stained Glass Fire Place Screen. That witch is burning like a marshmallow at a boy scout campfire. Dude on the left is just warming his hands, while pilgrim preacher dude has his eyes closed like “Damn, I love the smell of burning witch in the morning.” Dude on the right is like, “Whatevs. If you didn’t want to be burned as witch, you shouldn’t a won the local chicken egg lottery with your devil powers. Also you sew too straight. That ain’t natural! You get what you get girl.”

Yeah. This will make a lovely piece of art in your home. I’m sure it’s very calming.

Taxidermy Bat Candelabra

taxidermy bat candelabra
This Taxidermy Bat Candelabra is perfect for your haunted house. What? Everybody doesn’t have one? Mine’s been haunted for ages. By me. Sometimes my guests see a hazy green vapor that looks like ectoplasm and it is accompanied by a horrible stench. And the terrible groaning! Well, that’s what I get for eating the Burger King Black Whopper.

Back to the candelabra. It belongs in my batcave. But first I have to walk through like a mile of guano and clear it with the Elder bat. So I think I’ll pass.
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Vertebrae Shot Glasses

Vertebrae Shot Glasses
Slipped disc? You’re drinking from it. I’m not inebriated. I am In-vertebrae-ated. So there. These Vertebrae Shot Glasses really help you put your back into it when you knock back a drink.

*Feeling tipsy.* Sure, I’ll have another drink. Spine with me.

*More tipsy* Say what do ya call an Egyptian back guy? A Cairo-Practer. Nose, I’m not drunk.

*Far beyond tipsy* Go aheads, click glasses together again. “This is Spinal Tap.” S’okay s’okay. Nosh drunk. Gonna talk to the pretty lady. Hey. Can I get your Lumbar? *Hiccup* Or at least some lumbar support…?