Tag: morbid

Cecil The Lion Killer Halloween Costume

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Cecil The Lion Killer Halloween Costume
Check it out guys and gals. I just found the most offensive Halloween costume of the year. The Cecil The Lion Killer Halloween Costume has everything you need to re-enact recent current events: A bloody dentist shirt and a severed lions head. Too soon? My bad.

Seriously though, this guy should rot in hell.

Pro tip: It’s okay to get super upset about a lion being killed, but you should also be upset about homeless people dying and going hungry on the very streets you walk on. You should also get upset about your government lying to you on a daily basis.

Let’s get riled up about this stuff too.

Your pal,
The weird Creepbay dude.

Game of Molars: Crown Of Teeth

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crown of teeth
When you play the game of molars, you chew or you don’t. There is no middle ground. Also… Dentures are coming!
Also…. A Lannister always pays his dentist.

This crown of teeth lets you wear some pearly whites on your head, which would feel like your head is in the mouth of some weird beast. Now you know how your food feels.

Unreal Upchuck Owl Skeleton Kit

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unreal owl upchuck science kit
Hey, you wanna learn some science? Gather round kids and experience the wonder and majesty that is Owl barf. This Unreal Upchuck Owl Skeleton Kit will teach you all about the fact that owls eat other living things. And then puke their bones back up. Ain’t life beautiful?

Your kids will experience the thrill of dissecting owl puke and rebuilding skeletons. Apparently it’s all hypoallergenic and sanitary. As sanitary as owl puke can be. But first- *BWHOOOAAAAA* Sorry kids. As you can see, I had skittles and a bucket of KFC for lunch. As you can see, I like our owl friends am not afraid to eat the bones. Reconstruct this bucket of KFC and I’ll know you are ready for owl puke.
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Vintage Taxidermy Fox With Human Wax Face

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fox taxidermy with human face
Ahhh. Look at the cute wittle fox. You so cute. You so- HOLY EVER LOVING GOD!

This Vintage Taxidermy Fox With Human Wax Face is freaky as hell. And you just know that scientists have already created something like this in their secret labs, forcing it to do funny tricks and stuff as they take selfies with it. Then when Muldar and Scully get too close to the truth they had to kill it, even though it had become an awesome scientist household pet and would watch Big Bang Theory with them every night, laughing and flinging it’s hybrid poo. The last thing we see is the cigarette smoking man incinerating the body. Ugh! I can’t look at it anymore.
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Road Kill Toys: They’re In A Better Place Now

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roadkill plush toys
Road kill. There’s them that kills ’em and keeps on driving and them that eat’s ’em and thanks ’em for dyin’! Get yourself a snugly and cuddly creature who has been smooshed into a pancake with it’s guts sticking out. I’m getting one of these Road Kill Toys for my nephew. It’s educational. It will teach him to look twice before crossing the street. And make him cry.

These already-been-killed stuffed animals feature zipped sides that let you pack their spilled organs back in. Plus each one comes in its own clear plastic body bag. Nice!
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