You want something to crow about? I’ll give you something to crow about! How about this awesome must have Crow Black Magic Journal. You can write all your black magic spells on the pages inside. Or draw funny cartoons. Or write down your ten favorite Spam recipes. Whatever you want. Spam recipes? Now that’s horrifying. It comes with an optional black feather pen. My now bald pet bird will be happy about that. He gives me feathers for pens. I lose them.
It’s so lovely and scary. I just want to touch it.
Vampire hunters have all the coolest gear. Sharpened stakes, garlic, fancy crosses that burn vampire flesh, and journals like this awesome Vampire Hunter Journal.
First entry- Dear diary, today I staked a vampire. I mean, I staked out his lair. I didn’t have the courage to go inside and stake him. That pale and goth looking creepy son of a witch has to pay for his late night feeding on innocent women at the local clubs.
Two days later- Getting my courage up now. He rises when the sun goes down and sleeps in the day. Gonna do it tonight.
The next day- I did it! I did it! I broke into his house and staked him while he slept in his coffin. Well, he was sleeping in a normal bed for some reason. And he didn’t turn into ash when I drove the stake in! What have I done? I think I just killed a random goth teen! A quick examination of the room turned up a bunch of Hot Topic receipts. Also, an inspection of the home revealed parents sleeping in the same house too. I think I’m in big trouble now. This will be my last entry. Vampire hunting isn’t for me. I don’t want to go to jail…
MetalSomeArt sells some awesome leather bound journals. Heh. Leather bound. Sounds kinky. 50 Shades of Paper. Get it? Anyway, they have many cool journals to choose from. Cthulhu, Tarot Cards, all kinds of cool stuff. They have awesome brass plates in front. That’s what makes ’em look so fancy. So shiny. I’m gonna get one so I can write down my deepest innermost thoughts.
*Opens journal. Starts to write.* Hmmm. Nothing’s coming to me. Damn writer’s block. I hate that. Why you blockin’ me bro? What do you have against writers and why are you invisible? Silence huh? Well, nobody blocks me you blockhead. I’ll just journal about you.
Dear Diary. Today writer’s block tried to block me from your crisp white pages. But I don’t let bullies win. He’s a poopy pants which is why this entry sounds like a 2 year old rather than being in my usual 4 year old style. I hate that guy. Always blocking. Always lurking. P.S. I like your brass plate on your cover. So shiny and pretty. I like to touch it. Will you be my girlfriend? K bye. Read more “Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals”
This book is ribbed for your (reading) pleasure. This art journal is called the ‘Anatomia Humani Corporis’, ultimate Renaissance anatomical sketchbook. That’s way too many big words in a row. I’m pretty sure that’s fancy talk for a sketchbook. Also, am I the only one who has the urge to stick a pair of tweezers in that rib cage to try to get the debri out. *BUZZZZZZ* Man, I do not have the hands of a surgeon. That’s okay. If it wasn’t for incompetent doctors we would have no butchers.
These Custom Notebook Panties can be customized with any message you want. They make your lower area look like notebook paper.
I got a pair of these for myself recently, so I can write the great american novel and display it on my backside. Only tweet sized. Problem is I have writers block so I had to order several pairs.
It was a dark and stormy night… Ugh! Crumbles panties up and throws them in the trash can. Then remembers they are panties and retrieves them to throw in the hamper. Loads up another pair in my old-timey typewriter.*
