Tag: novelty

Awesome Octopus Bookends

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Awesome Octopus Book Ends
What you are seeing is not in fact an Octopus who turned to stone and was then cut in half. Although that would be pretty friggin’ rad man. Gnarly even. Maybe tubular. It’s not talk like a skater day? Oh well. *Rotates hat to the proper orientation and chucks skateboard behind me as glass shatters.*

No, this is a pair of Awesome Octopus Bookends. Hang on. I sense your confusion. Same thing happened to me. It’s actually for books that are whole and intact. Not just for the ends of books that have been sawed off for whatever reason. That would be silly. I knew that and didn’t have to google it. They go on the ends of your book pile, see. It’s actually a brilliant idea.

Confession time: Someone once asked me for a pair of bookends so I tore out the last page of War and Peace and Gone With The Wind. Boy did I feel like an idiot.

Anatomia Humani Corporis Renaissance Anatomical Sketchbook

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

Anatomia Humani Corporis Renaissance Anatomical Sketchbook
This book is ribbed for your (reading) pleasure. This art journal is called the ‘Anatomia Humani Corporis’, ultimate Renaissance anatomical sketchbook. That’s way too many big words in a row. I’m pretty sure that’s fancy talk for a sketchbook. Also, am I the only one who has the urge to stick a pair of tweezers in that rib cage to try to get the debri out. *BUZZZZZZ* Man, I do not have the hands of a surgeon. That’s okay. If it wasn’t for incompetent doctors we would have no butchers.

This fancy-schmancy leather bound blank book has 520 pages and is awesome for you artist types who like to draw guts and stuff.
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Clawing Hand Wall Hangers

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Clawing Hand Wall Hangers
The hands! The hands are coming! To give you high fives from hell! Which I can only assume evaporates your hand with the burning fires of hades. These things are perfect creep decor for the home. Get some spiders and a skull to go along with these Clawing Hand Wall Hangers and you have yourself a portal to another world where dead people are reaching into ours.

I reached into a portal like that once, but that was only because I thought there might be a Snickers bar on the other side and I’m a diva when I’m hungry.

Gothic Skeleton Baby In Stroller

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Gothic Skeleton Baby In Stroller
Ahhhh. Look at the cute baby. Who’s the cute little baby? Can I lift the veil and see it’s adorable baby face? WHAT THE SHIZZ? I’ve heard of parental neglect, but damn!

This Gothic Skeleton Baby In Stroller is the perfect morbid decor for your haunted house. That stroller even has a goblin head in back. Like they used to say to my mom, that is one ugly baby!

I would make this thing into a sweet remote control car and zip it up and down the aisles of the grocery store until the speaker system says, UGLY DEAD BABY ON AISLE 5! Then I’d come in like a baby-ghost whisperer and rescue them all and get free groceries for like a week.

Man I have so many hopes and dreams. Yet so little motivation. My whole life is a bucket list. That list has two things on it.

Live fast, die hung.
Kick the bucket.

I effin’ rock at life!
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Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set

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Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set
Creeptastic! Holy Goth! This Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set will let you write all of your horror fan-fic, ransom notes, poison pen letters and other assorted weirdness. You get four skull-topped ink pens and a skeleton vessel to hold them in.

Man, I wish I had a skeleton vessel. “Full speed ahead!” I would shout from atop it’s spine, posed like George Washington leading the charge, as the skeleton beast walks toward the enemy. *Suddenly all of it’s bones shatter and leave me half-buried in a pile of bone.* “Damn you and your lack of calcium!”