Tag: novelty

Octopus Bedding

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Octopus Bedding
I’d like to be, under the sea, in an Octopus’ garden with you. I’m not sure what they grow in their garden, but it sounds cool. Anything sounds cool when you are the Beatles and doing enough drugs. “Paul, me mate! I ave a great idea fer a song. It’s about an Octopus.”

Well, if you want to be all covered in octopus tentacles, check out this cool Octopus bedding. They have a bunch of colors and styles to choose from. Pretty cool. Calamari cool. Yeah, I know calamari is squid and not octopus. Just let me say cool things!

Hail Hydra! I’m out!
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Roswell 1947 Bracelet

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Roswell 1947 Bracelet
The aliens that crash landed in Roswell New Mexico in 1947 were probably drunk driving. Or texting maybe. Or making sweet love with their fingers like Mr. Spock does. They crashed during a lightning storm. Well, these alien’s misfortune can be your gain. Because you get to own this cool Roswell 1947 Bracelet. The seller says:

The saucer section of this sterling silver bracelet is embedded in a field of many small pieces of metal that have been fused and soldered to the bracelet cuff to simulate earth.

I’m a little bummed at the lack of alien corpses, bongs and beer can debri, but it’s pretty awesome.

Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton

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Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton
Get yourself a Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton. Without having to dig it up from your back yard. Or like I did, tunneling under my own house so I can check my neighbor’s yard for fossils. To bad about the sink hole that lowered their roof to ground level. That was just coincidence. I only removed like 3 Wooly Mammoth skulls and a full T-Rex.

On the bright side, now I can do motorcycle jumps from my yard onto their roof, wearing an Evel Knievel jumpsuit and a dinosaur skull for a helmet. Well, not anymore since my cycle is now lodged half in their living room and half in their basement.

Toilet Yoga Book

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Toilet Yoga Book
Finally, something to keep me occupied while I’m laying pipe. This Toilet Yoga Book titled “Toilet Yoga (Because Sometimes Sh*t Doesn’t Happen)“, will help you get your business done. It’s full of poses that will help you poop if you’re having trouble launching a Cleveland steamer. It goes well with the Squatty Potty.

I’m guessing some of those poses have names like Downward Facing Dookie, or the Caca Cobra. This book might just help me to reach a place of zen. Rather than my usual place of grunting and cursing like a sailor.

Crystal Skull With A Spider Inside

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spider skull
Looky looky, everybody stop your nooky. This crystal skull has a spider lodged in it’s cranium. I mean lodged, as in it has taken up residence, like a real roger-dodger-lodger. This insect is a drainium on the Cranium. He’ll make ya feel dull in the skull, see.

Wait, what? It’s not “talk like an old timey radio guy” day? I always get that wrong. That’s after “talk like a pirate” day and before “walk like a busy hooker after a long night” day. I just can’t keep up.

Anywho, this crystal skull has a spider stuck inside. Haha. You can’t get me, spider. Suck it! *The sound of glass shattering.* Oh poopy!
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