Tag: novelty

Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex

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Scene From Titanic Painting With A T-Rex
Remember that scene from Titanic where Jack paints rose? Well, now you can remember it in a whole new way. With a T-Rex.

Paint me like one of your French girls Jack.

Sure, why not? If you wanted some hair under your arms you should have just said so. Let’s give you a baguette under one arm too and put a mime in the background. And a glass of wine. Have I missed any French stereotypes? Hmmmm, let’s give you something to surrender to. Like a giant asteroid that will wipe out your entire species. Yes Rose, I can do that. Love you Rose. Now show me one of those dinosaur boobies.

Donut Worry Socks

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Donut Worry Socks
These Donut Worry Socks say Donut Worry, Eat Happy. Doughnuts are an amazing food. A super food. Doughnuts are also what you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over. You think he giggles now. Try poking him in his warm and flaky bits.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut make me down a whole box, cuz I will! I have the socks to prove it.

Post Apocalyptic Skirt And Top

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Post Apocalyptic Skirt And Top
If you want to roll with me in the apocalypse as I drive my souped up golf cart, you better dress the part. You need a Post Apocalyptic Skirt And Top. *Becomes a blurry cyclone racing around you* There, that’s better. Now you’re looking awesome.

Get in. I have a lead on a run-down grocery store that may have a single pack of Twinkies left on aisle 5. Then I gotta battle like 50 dudes in mohawks while zooming down Fury Road. I call it that cuz it’s full of potholes. Makes me furious!

M & M’s All Dressed Up Sculpture

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M & M's All Dressed Up Sculpture
These m&m’s are going out on the town. They’re all dressed up with no where to go. Therefore they belong in my mouth. But sadly they would break my teeth since they are a bronze sculpture. A limited edition of 75.

They melt in your mouth, not in their suits! Limited edition? Puh-leaze! I’ve dressed up plenty of m&m’s in my day. *Points to m&m civil war diorama, where North and South(Peanut m&m’s) wage a chocolaty battle for the nation.* Shhhhh. Keep your voice down. They startle easy. They’re all shell shocked. War is hell man.

Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks

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Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks
Breast Milk Flavored Toothpicks. For when you absolutely need the taste of mother’s milk, but are like 40 years old. I’m just assuming. The seller says it’s for a “baby shower”, but I ain’t buying it. I didn’t just fall off the nerd truck yesterday. I was pushed off by my twin brother who wanted a womb all to himself. One day I’ll find him and get even. *Shakes fist.*

Anyway, like I was saying, I’m no idiot. “Baby shower.” Whatevs. It doesn’t rain babies. At least, not until I get to the party. Know what I mean gals? Bow chicka wow wow…
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