Tag: novelty

Bacon Scented Pillowcases

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bacon scented pillow
Bacon this, bacon that. Don’t you eat anything but bacon? “No, I do not. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to see a doctor about a coronary.”

These Bacon Scented Pillowcases will let you smell the sweet scent of burning pig flesh even when you are not frying it up in a pan. So for me that would be my mid-day nap when I’m between servings of this delicious treat. It’s a pillowcase. It smells like bacon. Enough said!

You know what I just realized? I’m so silly. My pillowcase already smells like bacon. Thanks drool!

Eyeball Cufflinks

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eyeball cuff links
Eye love these Eyeball Cufflinks. Eye will wear them with my fancy wedding/funeral clothes, cuz the only time I dress up is when people die and men die hardest when they wed. That’s why I called my second marriage Die Hard 2: Die Harder. I’ve been a box office flop ever since.

Whoa! Hey! Hang on! Just want to be clear that doesn’t mean I can’t get it up. That’s not what flop means here.

Whatevs. These eyeball cufflinks are all blinky and stuff. Freak people out and hold your arms up all day as if you can see through their eyes. Because you can! Because that hand rolled tobacco that dude just gave you has kicked in and now you in the Matrix son! Blue pill or red pill? Pffft! I’mma mash ’em into a purple pill and be the ever lovin’ architect biatches!

Beer Keg Urinal

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beer keg urinal
This awesome Beer Keg Urinal lets you put the beer back where it came from in the first place. Buy beer keg, drink beer, pee beer back into keg. The beautiful circle of life. I mean beer. It makes a great gift. You can’t miss with a beer keg urinal. Well, actually you can. Helps to have a target. Like a crushed can urinal cake.

When I first saw this I thought it was an image of how kegs started out in life. I thought, Jesus, that explains why these things are so damn heavy. But no. Somebody just make a urinal out of a keg.

Stretchy Grilled Cheese Necklace

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grilled cheese necklace
This is the kind of Krafting I can fully support. See what I did there? As in Kraft cheese. Let me just warn you all that I am a grilled cheese animal. If you are wearing this Stretchy Grilled Cheese Necklace in my presence, I will bite at it and lick your neck like it’s our first date, because technically it will be.

You get a hickey or two, I lose a tooth or two. Seems like a fair trade to me. I’ll calm down once I realize that’s a fake gooey grilled cheese. Hopefully you’ll calm down before a restraining order is necessary.

Ghostbusters Gourd Sculptures

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ghostbusters gourd art
If you don’t like these Ghostbuster’s Gourd Sculptures from Etsy seller Wigoutgraphics, you must be out of your gourd! I’ve been slimed. (Funny Behind the scenes fact: I accidentally wrote, “I’ve been slimmed”, but nope, still have my gut and the doughy body of a nerd God)

The Slimer gourd shows Slimer on the front and in back you can see his brain and ghostly arteries and stuff. If he had such things. The Ungrateful Yuppie Larvae(Not actually me, despite my dad referring to me as such. That’s what the piece is called.) are doing their larvae thing like it’s a womb. Get a womb you two!

If there’s something strange in the neighborhood. Who ya gonna call. Gourd Busters!
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