Promise to scratch my back with these fun Crazy Creepy Halloween Nails? You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours k? Except my scratches are gonna suck cuz I bite my nails. Also spit them on the floor, which is why my feet are all cut up. That’s not a two foot deep pile of confetti all over the floor. I really have to clean this house at least once while I live. Nah. I’ll let the next sucker do it after I’m gone.
Tag: odd
Necronomicon Light Switch Plate
Holy Necronomicon Batman! This Necronomicon Light Switch Plate will make me way to scared to turn the lights off. Or on. Turn ’em off and I’ll be too scared of some portal to hell opening up and swallowing me whole as Cthulhu devours my soul. Turn ’em on and that Necronomicon face will scare the bejesus out of me and I got very little bejesus left!
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Skulls And Ravens Bookends
Oh my stars and garters! (Whatever that means.) Oh my skulls and ravens. These Skulls And Ravens Bookends are creeptastic and awesome. It’s a well known fact that ravens like to perch on skulls. I can’t even walk to my car without a raven landing on my head, but then it leaves because I have too much skin and hair and stuff. It sits on a tree branch somewhere just waiting and watching. Waiting for my demise so that it can perch on my bare skull.
This is why I run to my car and never ever look up.
Octopus Toilet Paper Holder
The Octopus Toilet Paper Holder is like having extra tentacles for your TP. The only problem is that this guy won’t ever stop staring at you while you are taking an octo-dump. That’s an 8 minute dump for those who don’t know. Could also be used for a massive dump of 8 curvy logs that look like floating tentacles. Not that I would know. I don’t look at my poop after it leaves me. I’m not one for long and drawn out goodbyes.
Twisted Trivia – The Serial Killer Trivia Board Game
The Serial Killer Trivia Board Game sounds like a real fun time and all, but all I know about these wack-jobs is to stay the hell away from them. Have you heard about the Board Game Killer? He gets people to play this game with him and if they don’t know jack about serial killers, they ain’t leaving alive. He’ll carve your bones into dice man. So I’m out. Imma stick to Yahtzee and Monopoly.
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