This Skeleton Dog On a Leash is man’s best bony friend. Plus, he’s already been dug up from a pet cemetery and cleaned up, so you don’t have to dig all night in the moonlight.
He won’t shed, he won’t poop and he won’t bark. It’s the perfect dog for runway supermodels, since dogs always look like their owners. In this case all bones and thigh gaps everywhere.
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Today is your lucky day if you want to own a replica of Marty Feldman’s face as Igor from Young Frankenstein. Do you want to own it? Yes master I do. Then go and buy it from Etsy seller STUDIOLABORATORIO51. Quickly Igor before it sells out! Yes master!
Check out the bonus video of thing below, complete with it’s own soundtrack.
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Mouse problem in your yard. Go for a nuclear solution and get this massive 8 foot inflatable cat. You will never see a mouse again! In fact, this giant cat will keep everything away from your yard. Maybe even trick or treaters. And that means more candy for you. I usually buy a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups and a bag of old lady candy. I keep the former for myself and give the latter out to all of the little ghouls and fools.
Haha. Suckers. Get the good stuff when you’re old enough to buy it yourself! That’s probably why the side of my house looks like a runny omelet and why my tree looks like a toilet paper dispenser from hell. It’s like the friggin’ Purge around here by like 8 o’clock.
Anyway, this giant and ferocious cat has a furry plush coat, glowing eyes, and an animated head that turns to look around. Get the furry version or a non-furry version. Video below.
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I’m going bring this up with the Tenant’s Association. You’re not supposed to have pets in the building.
For $84. you can get two awesome and terrifying Terror Dogs. No, no, not those terror dogs from the ballpark that give you indigestion and little pebble poops later as you groan. You remember terror dogs right? From the first Ghostbusters movie. These guys are scary as Zuul!
I remember when that movie came out. I made my grandmother watch it. Then afterwards I would make ghost noises and ask her, “Who ya gonna call?”
“Ghostbusters!”
That’s when I had the orderlies from the rest home come in. “These Ghostbusters are removing you for your own safety grandma. We’ll bring you back when this place is ghost free.”
Hey, it was better than telling her the hard truth. She was happy for the last years of her life, knowing she was ghost free. So it was all good.
*Ghost noises that sound suspiciously like grandma* What the hell was that? *Whispering in my ear* “Who ya gonna call boy?”
AHHHHHKKKKKKKKKKK. I’M SORRY GRANDMA! PLEASE DON”T HAUNT ME!
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Great. Halloween will be here soon. Or as I like to call it, “The one night I get to walk down the street and sh*t myself repeatedly because everything and everyone in the neighborhood are all scary and out to get me.” I’m not afraid though. This year I’m wearing my big-boy pants. A 40 waist if you must know. But I’m gonna work out on Halloween. Just long enough to get some candy.
Gonna be brave and not yell for my mommy this year when a mummy hands me candy and brushes my hand. I mean, I’m still gonna shriek and run to her(She waits on the sidewalk), but I’m not gonna freak out and have her call me a “fat pasty man-baby” again as she curses my father.
Anyway, check out this awesome $900 Venus Fly Trap Halloween prop. Gonna put this outside so it will be the flies that sh*t themselves.
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