YouTube Photo Prop

youtube photo prop
Hot damn! This YouTube photo prop turns real life into a YouTube video. It’s also perfect for those folks who are still on dial-up. I’m looking at you Kentucky. Some folks will just never know the joy of a YouTube video.

I’m gonna use this to re-enact my favorite youtube videos in real life. Maybe make my cat put on a show. Stay in the frame Fluffy! Take two! I’m not feeling your grumpiness. Maybe if I take your wet food away for like a week you’ll be able to channel your inner grumpiness. Oh Jesus, can we get a cleanup here? Some of these divas think the whole world is their litterbox! We’re breaking for lunch. If I see any wet lunch anywhere on set, I’m throwing out laser toys and catnip!

Joker And Henchmen Clown Mask Set

joker henchmen clown mask
“Why so serious?” Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you waltzed in here and just robbed my bank wearing freaky clown masks. Look, I’ve only been bank manager for less than a week. You think you could rob somebody else so I don’t lose my job? I’ll even give you a sweet low interest loan Mr. Joker. A great mortgage rate? You know what? F**k it. I’m gonna get a mask just like every other freak in Gotham and I’m gonna start robbing people. The Batman can’t catch us all right?

These limited edition Joker gang masks based on The Dark Knight movie are no joke. In fact, they look pretty scary. (Fun story. I accidentally typed “Joker bang masks” and I saw images of naked people in my head. Wearing these clown faces. All piled on each other and gyrating.) These $766. masks are form fitting and will transform you into one of the Clown Prince of Crime’s many henchmen. You should be fine as long as you don’t, you know, wear them to your bank, or while boarding a plane and whatnot. Check out Joker mouse over here for a good laugh at the clown prince of crime.
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Awesome Primitive Predator Costume

predator costume
Damn son! That is one fine Predator costume. Since I don’t have $3,362.32 can I just borrow it for a week and run around my neighborhood making clicking noises and shaking bones at everyone. Nah. Forget it. Being a predator is too much work.

You gotta take care of those dreadlocks and if you go into a salon to get your dreads oiled and your Predator nails painted, humans are gonna freak. Plus cops would be all over you, just because you ripped some dude’s spine out of his back. Then there’s that Chris Hansen guy. Always trying to catch a Predator.

Hey, I’m a female Predator. Come over to my house. We’ll watch the Alien movies, I’ll show you my trophy collection and kills. Cool, I’ll be right over.

Then when you arrive you find out it was really an underage Xenomorph on the phone and you get busted just because you brought a pizza and condoms.
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They Live Latex Mask: Formaldehyde-Face!

they live latex mask
Obey, Conform, Consume, Sleep. “The man” is always telling us what to do and subtly mind-controlling us. “The man” aka these aliens from They Live.

You, reading this. You’re okay. This one: real f**n’ ugly. Well, I’m here to expose these formaldehyde-faces. I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum. Because I care about my teeth is what I’m saying.

Aw, screw it. I’m too lazy to fight the secret powers that be. All I know is this guy looks like his head fell in the cheese dip back in 1957, but if you want to become one of our elite secret masters, you can buy this nicely detailed mask for $54.(Or 54 “Your God” notes) on Etsy.

Custom Eraserhead Baby Figure

eraserheadThis custom built Eraserhead baby reproduction from David Lynch’s movie “ERASERHEAD” looks like a turkey leg with eyes. This is #3 of only 10 that will be produced. It’s made from high quality platinum silicone and F3 foam to simulate the feel of real tissue. In other words he is soft and squishy and icky.

Pffft. If it was a real eraser head it would have erased itself by now. Also: That thing is butt-ugly. Like, you better drown that butt in proactive cuz you have terrible butt-acne ugly. It’s up to $430 so far.
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