Tag: skull

Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch

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Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch
Here I go again, coming through for you in the clutch. Even if I don’t know what that means. I just wanted to do something clever with the word clutch, aside from being told not to grind it because I’m used to driving an automatic. Anyway, check this out girls. This is a Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch. It’s got skeletal ribs on the front and feet with legs in the back. It also glows in the dark like that lasagna I accidentally left in the microwave overnight. The plus side is that that dinner now powers my house like lasagna-plutonium.

Anyway are you the sexy lady that can pull off this creepy cool clutch and look oh so sexy? I say yes because you got it going on girl! Get down wit yo bad self!
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Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder

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Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder
This Pumice Stone Skull Candle Holder is awesome. Looks like an old grey castle where a witch lives. I bet my wife is moving in there. It looks pretty cool all lit up. Like it would talk to you in a booming voice that only you can hear.

WHO DARES AWAKE THE MIGHTY SKULL OF DOOM?

Uh…Me? I guess me, yeah.

OH! WELL COME BACK IN AN HOUR, I”M BEAT!

Stoned more like. Get it? Cuz you’re made of pumice?

YOU HAVE DISPLEASED ME MORTAL! RETURN UPON ONE HOUR AND I SHALL SMITE THEE WITH MY ANCIENT POWER!

*Waits for it to fall asleep again then smashes it to pieces with a hammer.*

This is why I can’t have friends. *Sigh*

*Sweeps the ancient evil up in a dustpan and dumps it into the trash.*

Skull With Beard And Glasses

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Skull With Beard And Glasses
And now for a Skull With Beard And Glasses. You know why I like this? Well, aside from the obvious fact that it’s a skull with a beard and spectacles. Because it looks like that dude from Mythbusters.Is it him? No it’s not. Myth busted! That makes me the new Mythbusters!

I’m pulling the trigger on this one. I just need someone to talk to and he looks like a good listener.

Skull Bedding: Sleep Like The Dead

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Skull Bedding Sleep Like The Dead
Check out this cool Skull Bedding. It’s perfect for that big sleep. For sleeping like the dead. For taking a dirt nap. Nah. You’ll be very alive and oh so comfy in this bedding. It has a beautiful design that features a skull and flowers. You put this on your bed and you have a Skully Posturepedic bed. Get it? Put your bones in this bone bedding and you can even bone in it. I’m sorry, that was crude. I should have said shag. No, that’s carpeting. Now I confused myself. F***ing, that’s what I meant!

I have an urge to mess the bed. That didn’t sound right. I mean mess up that pretty bed, by making a blanket fort and calling it Castle Greyskull. It’s gonna be awesome. It already has the cool skull.

Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle
I can’t wait to have a beer in this Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle. The bone handle is jointed… For your pleasure. I don’t even know what that means. I’m operating on the left side of a Twix bar and two red bulls. What happened to the right side of the Twix bar? Both sides are right. And if one side is wrong I don’t wanna be right. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, this cool skull cup is my new drinking vessel of choice. BRING ME A SKULL FULL OF insert name of some kind of tough liquor that I should be manly enough to drink, but will make me cough and gag.

C’mon, let’s get drunk and slam our skulls together. THUNK! Ow!!!! I meant skull cups. Not my brain casing you stupid- What was I saying? WHO ATE MY LEFT TWIX? I only have the one. Or did I lose the left and I have the right? Why do they give you two? One would be much better for my OCD. I can’t eat it now, even if I could find it. See what you did! Wait. What are the signs of concussion? And where am I?