Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set

Miniature Laboratory Set
Sweet. A Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set. For very tiny Mad Scientists. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably because they have to wear lab coats all the time and can’t rock a fancy sweater-vest or UFO Jacket.

I’m buying it. That way if someone ever shrinks me down, I have a lab already set up and can make a potion to make me big again. *Knocks back a test tube full of blue junk.* Glug glug glug. It’s working! It’s working! *Head braeks through the ceiling. Stuck there. Looks around at the roof and birds and stuff.*

Good thing I’m prepared. Ordered another set to keep on the roof in case of exactly this kind of emergency. Now where’d it go. I- Da Fuq? Get away from that lab, squirrel! Is that meth? Oh sh*t. It’s all methed up and coming for me.
Read more “Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set”

Ouija Board Coffee Table

ouija board coffee table
Thanks for inviting me over for coffee. What’s this?

That’s my new Ouija Board Coffee Table. Let’s ask it a question.

Cool. I’ll start? Are there any spirits in the house?

*Grabs a bottle of Jim Beam and smashes it against his head.*

There’s your f**king spirits! What are you crazy? I hate ghosts.

Sexy Burger King Halloween Black Whopper Poop Costume

Sexy Burger King Halloween Black Whopper Poop Costume
Enjoy this tutorial on how to make a Sexy Burger King Halloween Black Whopper Poop Costume. Because, you know, it’s not enough that the burger turned your poop a neon green shade of nuclear waste. You might as well dress up as that glowing green streamer and go collect candy this Halloween.

I don’t know. I think they kinda skimped on this costume. I’d like both an option with nuts and one with corn. Just to be as authentic as possible. Maybe a mini-turd version for the kids.

Doc! Why is my poop green? Is it because of the Burger king Black Whopper?

No, it’s because I asked for that stool sample a month ago. One month ago you dropped the log, but you didn’t get it to the lumber yard until now. Now it’s all moldy. You disgust me.

Vintage Horror Movie Jewelry

horror necklaces
This Vintage Horror Movie Jewelry from DecayedAngelMerch is awesome and just the right (Vincent) price. Fun fact: An Elvira choker is not a nice person, (Why would you do that?) but it does make a kick-ass piece of jewelry. Whether you have Elvira boobs or not. They also have all kinds of necklaces with vintage horror icons like Christopher Lee, Vincent Price and more. Even some not so vintage ones like Beetlejuice. I’m not saying that three times.

These make great Halloween themed gifts. You what else makes a great Halloween themed gift? Kids not bothering me on Halloween night when I have all of my lights out, while I’m hiding and eating all of their candy.
Read more “Vintage Horror Movie Jewelry”

Cute But Freaky: The Unknown Being

Cute and Freaky
*Snores loudly as lips reverberate.* Daddy. Daddy. Wake up. Huh? What? What the shizz! Get away from me you foul floating demon. No Daddy. It is I, the culmination of a million lonely nights. You made me. Every time you do the deed with yourself, a little bit of me formed in the ether. Last night, your ritual before bed brought me fully into this world.

Arrrrggghhhhhhh! *Runs screaming out of the house.*
Read more “Cute But Freaky: The Unknown Being”