I am getting very sleepy. My eyelids are very heavy. I will do whatever you say. What? Because of the Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring you are wearing? No, cuz I wanted those fries on your plate. You gonna eat those or what? Fries hypnotize me every time. Cool ring by the way. What’s it supposed to do?
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Tag: strange
Curse of Ezekiel Gothic Bracelet
I have no idea what the curse of Ezekiel is, but it looks like getting a pair of skeleton handcuffs slapped on you. This Curse of Ezekiel Gothic Bracelet is like having skeleton hands gripping your wrist all day. Get off me. Get off me already. Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m wearing them willingly. It has a good grip. Real sturdy. This guy definitely had his calcium for strong bones. I just wish he would stop digging his nails into me. Do you even own nail clippers?
Krampus Display Head
It’s never too early for Krampus. Even if it isn’t Krampus time, you can enjoy this Krampus Display Head on your mantel. Give him a haircut and some moisturizer and he may even be more pleasant to look at. That’s what my mom said to my wife on our wedding day anyway. Don’t be a grumpus. Or a Wampus, buy yourself a Krampus. He looks crazy. Wampus bampus, thank you Krampus!
Did that make any sense? I woke up with med-head. It’s like bed-head, but due to meds.
Serpents Tarot Card Deck
Wanna learn your future? Consult the Serpents Tarot Card Deck. No really. It’ll work. I’m not a snake oil salesman, I swear. Besides, you ever try to wring oil out of a snake? It’s not as easy as it sounds. Especially with the snake trying to bite the whole time. So I usually just grip it tight and put some lipstick on it, maybe a tiny hat. Really demoralize it so it stops struggling. Anyway, deal out some cards and read someones fortune.
Wait. Is this deck so you can give snakes tarot card readings? I’m a lot more confused than I thought I was, which is really saying something.
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Set of 10 Alien Crayons – Gray-ola
Here ya go little Timmy. Take these alien crayons and draw a nice picture for the psychologist, so you can show him what the alien who abducted you looks like. *Looks at the drawing.* Are you sure this is accurate Timmy? Good. *Looks at drawing. Looks at psychologist. Looks back at drawing. Back at psychologist.*
It was you all along Doc! I should have known by your name, Edstra Trey Estreal! And your gray complexion!
I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling crayons! *Rips his fake human skin off and hops on the wall like Spider-man, before crashing through the window and escaping.*