Tag: taxidermy

Critter Trophy Head Replica

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Critter Trophy Head
This Critter Trophy Head Replica is going to look good in your home. There’s nothing like a critter above your sh*ter. As long as they aren’t coming from the toilet we’re all good. These guys are seriously messed up. The only species in the galaxy that failed to evolve toward basic dental care. C’mon… I’m not gonna make a joke about the British. You guys…

I’ll put this critter on the wall and act all tough like I shot it myself, when really I hid in some bushes while my Safari guide took it down. That’s one thing you have to know about me, I’ll only talk tough and brave when I already have your head on the wall.

Puppet Head And Hands Taxidermy Trophies

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Puppet Head And Hands Taxidermy Trophies
I’m really digging these Puppet Head And Hands Taxidermy Trophies, but I want to request a Tickle Me Elmo version, to see what Elmo would look like after I tickled him with a shotgun out in the wild. I’d also like to see some of those Fraggle Rock dudes mounted on my wall. Puppets and I have a weird history. A weird and bloody history. *Shudders.*

The seller has several. But no Elmo damnit! They make great coat racks. Things are creeping me out.
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Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin

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Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin
Damn. That is one fancy funeral for a dead rat. This Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin makes a nice and morbid decoration. You know what his ghost said when it realized it was dead? Oh rats!

Sssshhhhhhhh!

Sorry. Gotta be respectful of all the other mourners here to pay their respects. Everybody’s leaving cubes of cheese in the casket. Man, the undertaker must have been drunk. I’ve seen better preserved Twinkies after they’ve been left outside for a month.

4 Headed Dark Duckling

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4 Headed Dark Duckling
The quack is back. No, that’s not right. The quack is black. Beware the 4 Headed Dark Duckling. He probably spent his life walking in circles. That would suck having to eat for 4.

This thing is whacked yo! No, it’s quacked yo! It’s actually 4 individual ducks all put together. So this thing is stacked yo! You might say the maker got all his or her ducks in a row. And that’s all the duck comedy I have for today.

Duck Tales…Wooo-ooo!

Joker Mouse

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Joker Mouse
Why so serious? Because I didn’t like XM? I don’t know, maybe because there’s a friggin’ Joker Mouse threatening me with a knife? Any other questions? No I have never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. I have a question. Where do you get Joker cards small enough for a mouse?

Wait there for a sec. I just wanna get my toy Batmobile and my Batman and Robin figures. Then run you over. *Vroom Vroom. CRUNCH* Now ask me why I’m so serious! ASK ME!
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