Do you believe? The truth is out there man. Aliens exist. These Men’s I Believe Aliens Crew Socks prove it. They show an alien being beamed up into a UFO and waving, all like, “So long and thanks for the sh*t sample!” Damn, how many samples do you guys need? Do you have like a giant poop jar in the middle of the ship or is a colonoscopy just an international alien greeting? You guys should really brush up on your diplomacy. Enough with the butt-stuff!
Tag: the truth is out there
I Want To Believe Alien Earrings
These I Want To Believe Alien Earrings have some serious dingle-dangle. And no I ain’t talkin’ about his wing-wang. They have little green men in UFOs. Do you want to believe? Of course you do. So believe. And look good doing so. The truth is out there peeps!
The Martians Are Coming!
This martian is going to look awesome in your yard. And I can tell ya from experience that they really look like this. It was a hot August night and I was drunk-riding home on my bicycle, cuz that isn’t illegal as far as I know. That’s when I saw this thing scurrying around the neighbor’s yard, looking grumpy as hell. When I spotted him, he jammed those tentacle legs into the ground and made like a tree. I just figured I was drunk and since I had to pee anyway… And now you know why he’s got such a grumpy look on his face. Hey, you disguise yourself as a tree on a backward planet, you’re gonna get the golden shower. I don’t remember anything after that, cuz I think he went all electric and shocked my weiner.
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Alien Invasion Resistance Manual
Don’t be caught off guard when the bum-plungers come in the dead of night to do their crazy experiments on you. Be prepared. The Alien Invasion Resistance Manual will prepare you. Know your enemy. Know your rights! Is it legal under galactic law to travel billions of light years and probe some Earthlings rectum? I have no idea, but I’m hoping this book tells me the answer, cuz I can’t afford an alien lawyer.
In true Haynes style, the Alien Invasion Resistance Manual aims to demonstrate how with the right knowledge, training and a substantial reel of aluminum foil, the concerned citizen can really hit ET where it hurts. You can protect your home and family from mind-bending abductions, you can ensure that you remain free of any sinister implants and you can determine which shape-shifting lizards are working to take over society. Accompanied by illustrations, maps, diagrams and step-by-step instructions, this resistance manual will be essential reading for those interested in protecting the planet from alien invaders.
– Discover the truth about aliens and how they have already infiltrated Earth
– Learn the real story behind the Roswell crash, Area 51 and terrifying facts about alien abductions
– Read about the alien species that threaten us -from the DNA-hungry Greys to the shape shifting Draconian reptiles
– Become an Extra-terrestrial Prepper – trained and ready to defend our planet
– Create an abduction ‘safe room’ in your home and learn how to fight alien invaders
– A comprehensive analysis of alien invasion strategies and how humanity can defeat them
– A complete blueprint to the defending of our Solar System
– Plus hundreds of new uses for aluminum foil
Alien Head Planter – I Want To Believe
This Alien Head Planter makes fun of those grey alien abducting psychos, by giving them some crazy plant hair. Probably make ’em jealous too, cuz they don’t have hair and rogaine doesn’t work on their planet either. They might want to consider growing plants in their heads cuz that killer hair makes ’em look all cool, like it’s blowing in the wind like some 80s heartthrob.
The truth is out there and it’s friggin’ weird!