This Alien Necktie has just left Saturn and is headed toward your anus. I mean Uranus. So… Just make sure you hide your hide. Like my dreams, this tie is full of little green men and stars. Your boss will hate it because it isn’t boring and stupid. Which is exactly why you will love it. That’s okay, cuz your boss is stupid. You know why? Cuz he doesn’t have this tie. Basically he sucks. Don’t be like him.
Tag: the truth is out there
Alien Head Pillows – Extrater(rest)rial
These Alien Head Pillows are perfect for alien-themed sleepovers. Isn’t Brad dreamy? OMG! What about Chandler? We should do our hair! Then before you know it, you are having a pillow fight and throwing alien heads at each other. Problem is that aliens can see you doing this through your window and they think that you have decapitated a bunch of their friends and are tossing their heads around in a berserker bloodlust rage. You are so getting probed tonight! Like probed deluxe, with all the trimmings. Sometimes intergalactic misunderstandings happen. I’m sure you will all laugh about it later aboard the UFO, while you say don’t make me laugh, my butt hurts too much.
Alien Skull Ring – With This Ring I Thee Probe
Anybody else ever wake up the next morning after an abduction and find this Alien Skull Ring on your finger? And you’re not sure who your husband is, but judging by the burning in uranus, you know you had a hell of a honeymoon. Yeah, me either, I was just askin’.
I, the perverse alien dirtbag with a thing for hindquarter exploration, take you, puny human, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to probe, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
He asked me! He asked me! #blessed #sorebumforweeks #cantbeabindingcontract
Creatureplica Action Figures
Are you crazy for cryptids? Insane for Sasquatch? Yowzer for the Yeti? Of course you are and so am I. That’s why I’m gonna collect all of these Creatureplica Action Figures. There’s the Louisiana Rougarou, Sasquatch, Himalayan Yeti and the HorrorHound! I’m collecting ’em and you should too. Then our moms can make a play-date and we can play with them.
I’ll bring my Leonard Nimoy doll and we can recreate a bunch of “In Search Of…” episodes.
I hope they add more, like the Jersey Devil and Mothman. Ohhhhh and the Chupacabra. I’ll be back later after I order a set.
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The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf
I hear ya. Why would I buy an X-Files Scarf in the middle of the summer? That’s what you’re thinking. Well, that’s what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an enigma, inside of a pit that holds a quagmire. They don’t want you to have a scarf and be prepared for the cold weather to come. So they hide the truth. Right in plain sight. Is it really summer? Are you sure? Maybe a false summer created by planes spraying chemtrails, cuz they modify the weather, cuz aliens need a warmer climate.
Buy this scarf, cuz when the resistance grounds those chemtrail planes and makes the planet colder, you’re gonna need it. Hope you like snow you alien freaks!
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