Tag: unique

Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture

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Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box
This Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture looks like a photo captured of the beast in the wild. Is it more Cthulhu or more Sasquatch. I have no idea. Is it live or is it Memorex? Frankly, I can’t believe it’s not butter.

This thing looks like Chewbacca and Emperor Palpatine’s love child. I think his squatting in that grass is about more than just posing for the camera. I think he might be taking a huge steaming squatch. But I’m not Cthulhu/Bigfoot expert. I just think I see some of that foliage dying.

Scary Skeleton And Skull Ring

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Scary Skeleton And Skull Ring
Ahh look at the cute little Scary Skeleton And Skull Ring clinging to the finger. He’s all like, “You are my human. Mine. Never gonna give up this finger.” Crazy, creepy, cool. Wait, what? What do ya mean it looks like he’s dry-humping? Nah, he wouldn’t do that. Shut your mouth! Call it Skully and it will call you Mulder. You can both solve X-Files together and have all kinds of conspiracy fueled adventures. You can be the true believer and Skully will be the skeptic.

I like it because when you give someone the finger, it means so much more when you have a skeleton ring along for the ride. I’d be flipping people off and Skully would be on my finger, all like, “Yeah, I endorse this.”
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Victorian Eye Rings

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Victorian Eye Rings
Victorian Eye Rings. No, not rings for your eye. I don’t even know how that would work. No, I mean rings that are eyes. These are super awesome too because you can be all like, “Give me a knuckle sandwich will ya? I’m gonna give you 5 eyes to the face sucka!” Cuz I would have one on each finger. I’d run my tongue across all of them before I punched the dude too, cuz you have to lay on the creepy and psych him out.

Hey, what’s with that third eye in the pic? Is it okay? Looks like it has glaucoma. Looks like we have a Third Eye Blind concert. You walked right into that one. Not really, I kinda put you on a conveyor belt and waited patiently. Who says we can’t all see eye to eye? Put on your eye rings and give me a fist bump.

Skull Full Of Souls Box

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Skull Full Of Souls Box
This Skull Full Of Souls Box is a great place to keep all of your trinkets, candy,dice, whatever. Tormented souls are all over thing thing. Kinda like this blog. *Rim shot* Nah. I love ya all even if you do have problems. And I’m saying that wearing a sequinned dress made out of meat as I kick back glass after glass of whiskey.

Don’t judge. Not my fault I Quantum Leap all over the place. Once I set stuff right, I’m outta here. Today was “Try a sequinned dress made out of meat” day. Still haven’t leaped. Running out of ideas. F Lady Gaga anyway. *Falls and breaks neck.*

*Blue light everywhere. Leaping! I’m leaping!*

Oh THATS what needed to be set right!
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See How You Measure Up With Measuring Tape Toilet Paper

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See How You Measure Up With Measuring Tape Toilet Paper
Measuring Tape Toilet Paper is a great way to gauge how well your pooper is workin’. Are you wiping a two inch streak or a ten inch streak. Find out with this handy dandy toilet paper. It’s great for boredom while pooping too. You can measure body parts, the nearby window, your schmeckel, whatever. Then when you are all pooped out, wipe yourself and measure your skid mark if you want. I ain’t gonna stop ya.

It’s easy to get a long skid mark if your colon can’t put on the brakes and pinch that loaf clean. Yay! I win! Anyway you’re supposed to measure twice and poop once. Thrice on taco night.