Wanna be a slow and slimy warrior princess? Just wear the Snail Shell Helmet. Weird antenna things not included. You wear this and you’ll become a shell of your former self. Also, they’ll send it to you via snail mail. I do love this helmet though. They totally snailed it! You better make a snail trail to this helmet now before it’s gone- Oh wait. I turned my head and it barely moved an inch. Yeah, forget what I said. You have time.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Horror Movie Villains Playing With Cats Prints
Cats are everywhere. They’re clogging the internets and filling up the homes of crazy cat ladies. You can’t get rid of them. Just ask these horror movie characters. They all have cats, because cats are a natural de-stresser. There’s nothing more stressful than being a horror movie character and killing people for a living. These prints from StupidAnimalShop celebrate their relationship with these little fur balls and show their softer side.
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Pill Necklace
Here, I got you this cool Pill necklace. What, you don’t like it? Oh, don’t be a pill! Don’t worry, it didn’t cost much. I got it from DesignerDrugJewelery who makes all kinds of pharma-cessories. I saved up my money for a prozac bracelet. It’s drugs that you can wear as jewelry. Hang on, starting to feel freaky. Just need a little nip. *Licks my bracelet all over.* That’s better.
Actually all of the pills are sealed in resin so it’s safe. I just lick it hoping that one day I’ll break that barrier. I bet all the big pharmaceutical people are wearing this stuff. The pills in this one are called Protonix. It’s a treatment for an esophagus acid irritation.
*Sighs* If we all wore our drugs as jewelry I would look like Mr. T. trapped in my own necklace mound.
Zombie Gnombie Statue
This Zombie Gnombie Statue is all undead and rising from the dirt. He gets bonus points for having stigmata marks on his hands. What up my homie from another gnomie? You just gonna stay silent wit yo zombie self? Aight, be like dat Aber-gnombie and bi*ch!
Why you crawling all up in my yard anyway? *Steps on his head and pushes him back down* Dat’s what it is. This ain’t no halfway house for horror gnomes. Pop up in somebody else’s yard else I’mma have to play whack-a-gnome! Ya get me? Aight! Peace! Don’t be leaving no gopher trails in my grass now!
Octopus Tentacles And Dragonscale Mugs
These cool Octopus Tentacles And Dragonscale Mugs from CogsnCords look great. Let’s you and me get them and we can bump uglies. By uglies I mean tentacles. And dragonscales.
I hope those tentacles don’t reach back in the mug and drink my beer all up, but I wouldn’t mind if they tickled my mustache and under my chin while I’m taking a long swig. The dragonscales won’t be any trouble. Let’s you pet a dragon while you are getting drunk. I guess you’re draining the dragon as you drink up too. These mugs are awesome.
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