Author: Artemis Winterford

Horror Movie Posters Recreated With Clay

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Horror Movie Posters Recreated With Clay
UK-based artist Lizzie Campbell recreates horror movie posters using polymer clay. Awesome job Lizzie. Some of the recreations here include Nosferatu, Hellraiser, Dawn of the Dead and more. You can check out her website for more.

I’m confused. This stuff is scary is hell. I’ve seen most of these movies from under my blanket fort where I’m safe from the supernatural. But it looks so kid friendly in clay form. I miss that blanket fort. Let this be a lesson to everyone. All it takes is a candle and a stomach full of tacos to create a fiery mushroom shaped cloud in your room. Then ya got no blanket fort and are at the mercy of monsters.
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Paranormal Alphabet Cross Stitch Pattern

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Paranormal Alphabet Cross Stitch Pattern
If you’re looking for a cross-stitch pattern that features all kinds of paranormal stuff, check out this Paranormal Alphabet Cross Stitch Pattern. This thing is like a conspiracy wrapped in a riddle, with a creamy nugget enigma topping. It has the Illuminati, UFOs, Aliens, the Jersey Devil (I hear he recently relocated to New York) and much much more. It’s like the X-Files as created by a Golden Girl. Mind blown! The truth really is out there. Wayyyy out there.

My grandmother would love this pattern. She likes to sit in her chair knitting all night, wearing a tin-foil hat, so that the aliens don’t get her. That’s why I have like a hundred half finished shirts with Bigfoot getting out of a UFO. Don’t worry grandma, you’re safe for now, but displease me once more and those aliens in the clean white coats are coming to take you away.

Psst. I found a sweet and dirt cheap “Retirement community”. Odd that the guy that runs it likes to meet in back alleys. Also odd that the place looks like a burned out building with a bunch of homeless people, but what do I know about cutting edge elder care?

Dragon Head Necklaces Made With Real Animal Skulls

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Dragon Head Necklaces Made With Real Animal Skulls
No one better say that my Dragon Head Necklace stinks. It is made from a skunk skull so… Maybe it does. Or did. All good now though! The little stinker. I’m buying one. It will be nice to have a little buddy hanging on my chest. One that I can grab and talk to whenever I want. Make him talk back and nod.

Does a half dragon, half skunk raise it’s tail and pee stinky hot fire when scared? I better check on that.
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Baby Chupacabras

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Baby Chupacabras
Don’t let these Baby Chupacabras fool you. Sure, they look cute and like they are partying during mardi-gras , but they have been known to rip your face off rather than asking to see your boobs and giving you beads. Well, they do that too, but that’s not the point. They were created in a government lab to look FAB-u-LESS and flamboyant. I say mission accomplished.

I feel like they are missing their accessories: A bong, a blunt and some bling. Hard to believe these guys are the ones sucking blood out of goats.
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Green Glass Eyeball Ring

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Green Glass Eyeball Ring
Keep your eye on the prize. Or you know, on your finger. This Green Glass Eyeball Ring is all seeing, all knowing, and all eyeball. Now I’m no pupil of style and fashion, but I’ll ask my friend Iris what she thinks. Get it? That was just a cornea little eyeball joke. You know what they say, booty is in the eye of the beholder. No, I didn’t mistype beauty. Booty is what I look at. It’s in my eye most hours of the day and I am the beholder. I have probably even seen your butt and approved.

Anyway, back to the ring. Not like *ding-ding* entering the boxing ring. This eye ring silly. It’s not bloodshot, it’s not yellow. All in all it’s very healthy looking. I say go for it. Though I can’t tell if it smells, so there is a chance they’ll give ya the stink-eye.
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