Author: Artemis Winterford

Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers

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T-Rex dinosaur desk organizer
I’m working on a script called Jurassic Parks and Rec. It’s about a bunch of dinosaurs working for local government, trying to figure out the best way to deal with extinction level events. That really has nothing to do with these awesome Steel Dinosaur Skull T-Rex Metal Desk Organizers. Just figured I’d toot my own horn a little. *Wiggles thumb and pinky* Call me Hollywood.

These T-Rex skull organizers are sweet! They make your desk look like a rugged manly man works there. And I say that knowing full well that it takes a lot to counter that limited edition Rainbow Dash figure I have on my desk now. With the Rainbow Brite post-it notes.

Zombie Flamingos: The Squawking Dead

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zombie lawn flamingo
These Zombie Flamingos would look awesome in a zombie trailer park. Hey, that’s a great name for a band. Ladies and gentlemen! The Zombie Flamingos! We’d get on stage, rock out super hard while our flesh rots off, against a trailer park backdrop all foggy and lit by the full moon, and at the end we would all balance on one leg like Flamingos do.

Too bad I’m way to busy with this blog. Plus, I just tried to book a few gigs and no trailer park will let us play there. I guess only hurricanes and shotguns are welcome. Whatevs. I’m ordering some of these zombie birds for this Halloween.

Hippopotamus Chair

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hippo chair
Finally someone carved a chair out of a Hippo and painted the whole thing black. Hippo-campus? That ain’t no brain part. That’s a typical American college. Ha ha. I slay me. Because most Americans are obese. Hey, I’m American, so I can say that. You can’t France! Back off! Anywho, this Hippopotamus Chair will make your living room look like a wildlife sanctuary.

Whereas having a real hippo in your home to sit on makes it more of a stank-tuary. They can’t be housebroken. believe me, I’ve tried. It always ends in a steaming pile oozing down the sides of the coffee table. This fake hippo is much better and it’s only like 100 grand. Hit the link above to see the whole collection of freaky chairs.

Real Grass Disposable Dog Potty

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disposable dog poop grass
Dogs are way too much work. Feed me. Let me hump that stuffed animal. Take me outside to pee. Who has time for a needy animal like that? And besides, I do enough of that stuff myself. Well, the Real Grass Disposable Dog Potty will let you bring the outdoors inside, so your dog can relieve himself. Because he or she is too darn lazy to learn how to work a doorknob.

Get off your lazy dog butt and go pee in the yard. Oh nice! While you’re at it, just drop a Cleveland steamer while I’m having my dinner. Lovely.

Demented Baby Doll Wall Art

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creepy doll wall art
Yeah, these pieces of Demented Baby Doll Wall Art are pretty nightmare inducing. You can hang your keys from their tiny freaky hands and use them as a coat rack or just stare at them and wig the hell out. I can picture these in my house and I ain’t scared at all.

*Opens the front door after a long day* Daddy’s home babies! *The nightmare creep babies all push through the walls with their freaky little hands reaching out and their heads protruding from the wall. A productive and well behaved nightmare army.* Baby hands grab my keys, while another pair grabs my coat. This is the life. I just can’t get too close to the wall. I must never let them collectively grab at me and pull me into their dark abyss beyond the walls. *Shudders* But seriously, it’s super sweet child labor without the illegality and guilt.
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