Looking for something unique in a spice rack? How about a Custom Test Tube Spice Rack? That way you can pretend you’re a scientist while seasoning your food and ruin it by putting way too much paprika in it. I hate when that happens.
Little known fact: My dad was a test tube baby, which makes me a baby from a proven tube. That tube was the boobtube. And by that I mean the TV, which did often have boobs on it. Boobs will bring you up right!
Keep dinner simple with the The Mac + Cheese Cookbook. Does your meal have mac? Check. Cheese? Check. Ok, we’re good to go. I don’t want to brag or anything, but I love mac and cheese way more than you. Let me tell you a very heartfelt story. It’s a story about a “huskie” boy and a tree in the forest.
See, I once had a special tree where I would play imagination games. My favorite was the game were I pretended that other kids wanted to play with me, but that didn’t last long because ADD. And imagination only stretches so far when you are alone and the other kids don’t want you around. I found a special tree and whispered to it of my love of mac and cheese. It’s limbs gently bent in an unseen wind and it magically whispered back. “No climbing me fatty.”
Why you worm ridden piece of filth, I hope you get bark-rot! So I took out my pocket knife and listened to the magical wind that was it’s voice scream as I carved a symbol deep into it’s bark. The symbol was a circle and inside, I had carved. “I Love mac and cheese!”
Then as I stood back, it was as if the tree shivered in the breeze, shuddering in fear. I said, “Don’t you forget it. And one more thing. I ain’t fat. Just “huskie”!
Ah memories of youth. In my life, I’ve had like 3 trees fall and nearly kill me. Have no idea why.
I’ve never had a squirrel punch it’s little hand through my wall and present keys to me, but I’m super stoked that this is now a possibility in my life. This Squirrel Foot Key Holder can make it happen. The little furry dude would put a hole in my wall, hold out the keys for me and I would hand him his nuts that I keep in my pocket.
I’m off to the store. Boom! Here’s your keys! I’m out. Keys! Now! Boom! Here you are boss. Sweeeeeet! Of course, within about 2 weeks my hallway would look like swiss cheese from all of the holes in the wall. Then I’d have to get my keys in another room. And another. And another. Until the house falls down all around me one day and I see that little hand punch up out of the debri, offering me my keys one last time. *teary eyed*
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This Giant Wifi Alien is what hangs from the ceilings of UFOs. How else are you going to get Wifi when traveling through space, on your way to abduct cows and hayseeds? Looks like he has these two gals completely mesmerized.
Do not look directly at it, or it will psychically connect you with the great alien internet from another galaxy. And make you flash the peace sign while consulting your crystals and burning incense.
Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Wear a nose above your cleavage. Thanks to this Nose Necklace Pendant. I know that’s where I would be sniffing around if I was a pendant. It’s a pretty unique piece of jewelry. Until it catches a damn cold and then the woman wearing it is all, “I’ve been slimed” as she freaks out and tries to yank it from her neck.
Maybe you should just calm down and use that tissue paper that you stuff your bra with to clean up. That’s right, I know about that. I’ve been with enough “stuffers” to know. I can spot real breasts anywhere. Chicken or otherwise. Anyway, that’s the only downside I see with this pendant. Have fun Nostral-damus.
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