Live Fast, Die Weird: Full Face Clown Motorcycle Helmet

Full Face Clown Motorcycle HelmetThis custom painted full faced clown motorcycle helmet is made to order. As soon as you pay your $600, one will be freshly painted just for you by Ebay seller alera.of.thailand. Good thing too, because my badass biker gang needs a new theme. You can only get in so much trouble calling yourselves Hell’s Oompa Loompas before you have to change your approach. Everyone is on the lookout for green hair and suspenders now, worried about getting a beatdown with a lollipop. Gotta lay low for awhile. Do some stretches. Work on my height.

This clown helmet is creepy and badass. More images after the break, plus some other badass helmets from the seller.
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Bald Headed Crying Dumpster Monkey

creepymonkey
Not sure where Ebay seller Hookamonky is finding the items that they’re selling. From the looks of this ugly, worn out, chewed up and spit out 1,000 times monkey, I would have to say that the seller is scraping the bottom of the dumpster barrel. This thing is horrid! No wonder the monkey is crying. He doesn’t want to be put up on Ebay, being told to do a little money dance on top of a piano, shaking its money-maker for potential Ebay buyers. Read more “Bald Headed Crying Dumpster Monkey”

Ménage à Freak: Weird Alien Wrinkled Flabby Cuddle Huddle

weird elder love pileI have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I’m pretty sure it all started with these wrinkly and possible all elderly alien maniacs dropping their keys in the same bowl. It’s like a free-for-all nursing home orgy and likely one of them has lost a contact to boot.
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Scary-Ass Canned Food Drive: Leprechaun/Elf/Boy Scout

ginger boy scout of deathI don’t know if this guy is a Leprechaun, an elf, or some undead freak of nature, but I’m confident that he earned the “creep the f**k out of everyone” badge and probably ate his scout leader too. Probably mixed the guy’s body with that can of baked beans I gave those little sh*ts last week when they hung a bag on my door (With several more on my lawn) and expected me to fill it with stuff I hate. Mission accomplished on that one. I gave them 2 cans of SPAM and a half case of Chef Boy’Ardee. Enjoy the GMOs troop unknown number with creepy looking scout leader.
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Be Fashionably Fecal With The Turd Brooch

turd broochDid you poop today? Me either. I’ve been told I need more roughage than what is traditionally in a Hot Pocket sauteed in Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. But when I do poop next, I am totally going to match that poo with one of these awesome turd brooches and wear that Cleveland Steamer with pride.
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