Does the fabled Chupacabra exist? Obviously! Here’s proof. A pickled Chupacabra fetus that was found “in a stream in New Mexico” by Ebay seller great_american_circus_sideshows. Chupacabras are famous for being supernatural and sucking the blood out of goats and stuff. They escaped from some laboratory or were dropped off by UFOs.
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Scorpion High Heel Shoe
This creepy-ass scorpion shoe would be perfect for a one-legged witch who lives in the desert. It has wheels in back to urge you forward faster and when it goes too fast that stinger slams down and is all like “Slow down biatch, cause I just poisoned your sorry skank ass. By the way, your feet is stinky as an old cheese slice in a welfare fridge.” Because that’s how Scorpions talk.
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Sasquatch Sighting: Bigfoot Drops A Deuce
This Etsy listing is titled “Bigfoot breaks into some Dude’s Cabin and Totally takes a fat Dump in his toilet 11×14 fine art print”. That he does. The old Sasquatch is leaving a Cleveland steamer in some guy’s toilet.
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Beware The Love Bugs STD Chart
This chart just emphasizes what I tell all of my lady friends. STDs are just love bugs. No big deal. If it don’t burn, you don’t learn, right? Anyway, for $100 you can get this awesome STD chart which will tell you everything you need to know about the herp and other old favorites.
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Post Apocalyptic Doll On Sled With Spinning Saw Blades Of Death
Let’s see, what do I have in the garage? There has to be something here I can sell on Etsy. Let me just put this doll on this sled and… Wait a minute. Hand me that gas mask. A little bit of wire. Those saw blades are awesome. Let’s use those. And make them really spin. People have way too many fingers anyway.
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