Category: Creepy Dolls

Someone Has A Serious Case Of Ouija Head

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Ouija board head dollMany come from miles away to talk to the dead. She watches them watching her. She can feel the planchette tracing words on her face. She speaks the words aloud, forming sentences. The ghosts’ hands are cold. So very cold.

Yeah. That’s what happens when you have a Ouija board for a head. Kind of looks like a Pop-Tart too. Now there’s a combination. Communicate with the other side and then take a bite out of it. Well, I’m off to secure the patent folks. When next we meet, I will be blogging from my personal jet.

This creepy and cute doll comes from Etsy seller ForeverFall. Sadly, the item is sold, but if you ask real nice, maybe they will make you one. Full image below.
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Knitted Alien Autopsy: The Truth Is In There…In His Guts

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alien autopsy crochetThis knitted alien autopsy from Etsy seller aKNITomy is the adorable way to slice and dice aliens. For science of course. You can get the PDF pattern for $4.50 and make one for yourself. If we figure out how these guys work on the inside, we may be able to stop them from appearing in the night and probing our rectums.
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OMG Selfie Doll!

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selfie dollNo need to go catching your BFF’s lice and other cooties, because you always lean in close and bump heads for those selfies. Just get this Etsy seller to make you a selfie doll instead. Take a picture of the doll whenever you need a selfie. Or put the doll against your friend’s head and take a selfie, that way your doll is getting your BFF’s scalp scabies and other nasties. Let’s face it, your friends ain’t clean. You know when your leg itches for no reason whatsoever? That was a rogue crab from your best friend Judy’s moldy clam. It was just saying hi.

Etsy seller Mahinarium will make you a selfie doll for $87.38, with up to two pieces of clothing.

Pickles The Poltergeist Clown

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picklesThis clown is named Pickles. The first time I went to write up this article, I ended up crying in the corner, pulling my hair out. I don’t traumatize easy, but here’s the Dill, Pickles is creepy. Look at that image. He is clown-napping that kid. Turns out Pickles has a history of stalking, then clown-napping dolls of little children. The eBay seller Swankykitty explains:

Pickles the clown has been causing a bit of mayhem in the Doll House that Swanky built. All the babies have been complaining about his incessant doll-napper tendencies and the suggestion has been made more than once that maybe Pickles needs to move to a home of dolls more like himself.

I bought this doll initially because it made me laugh that he looked like Micheal Jackson if Micheal Jackson would have dressed as a clown.

Click through for more Pickle mayhem, where you can see him being super creepy, hiding under the beds of other dolls and waiting to snatch them up.
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Horror Nesting Doll Set

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horror nesting dollsThis set of horror nesting dolls are all separated and not nesting because basically they would all just cut each other to shreds so that when you opened it, it would be nothing but blood and broken dolls. That’s because these guys are hardcore.

You have Jason Vorhees, Freddy Krueger, Mike Myers, Ghost face from Scream and Chuckie. Only $25. These guys scare the bejesus out of me.

I mean that in a very Matryoshka doll way too. They scare me so much that a bejesus (Whatever that is) will burst out from inside of me, looking all pale and Golem-like, then a little clown will burst out of him. Then a tiny furry dancing gnome will burst from his chest and run out into the night screaming. No really. That just happened! I think somebody spiked my drink again- Here come the fire ants with heads of actors that I hate!