Spooky Embossed Rolling Pins For Halloween

Spooky Embossed Rolling Pins For Halloween
I love cookies. I’m a real cookie monster and not just because I have blue fur and googly eyes. I just love ’em. So maybe I can get my wife to buy these Spooky Embossed Rolling Pins For Halloween from AlgisCrafts. Even if the wife doesn’t bake any cookies, it will make a nice change of pace having all of my bruises in fun shapes like skulls, bats and spiders.

They have all kinds of rolling pins. Personally I think they look like they might really hurt. I’m not so hungry for cookies anymore.
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Underpants Wallet

Underpants Wallet
I think I’m gonna get this Underpants Wallet so that the next time I have to make a Doritos run at 3 AM, I have something that matches my outfit. Which is cheeto-stained underwear and an unbuttoned flannel shirt. Oh and flip-flops. Hey, “No shirt, no shoes no service.” Even I have to follow the rules, despite being a blogging rockstar.

I’ll also have two Slim-Jims my good man. The clerk will be pleased I have a less sweaty place to hold my cash. Cuz that flannel shirt has no pockets.

Cheeseburger Backpack

Cheeseburger Backpack
Cheeseburger backpack! It’s got lettuce and cheese sticking out of the bun. Probably has special sauce too. I’m gonna be so cool walking into the fast food place with this on my back. They’d ask what I want. I would just point to my backpack. Give me one of them. A cheeseburger. And hurry it up son. Acne face behind the counter will know what I mean. That guy’s gonna think I’m so awesome.

Until the guy behind me is all like, “Hey, nice backpack, dude! Is that another one in the front, under your shirt?”

Yeah. I can never be cool. *sighs* And no, that’s just my gut, the bastard child of a thousand cheeseburgers.

Coffin Couch

Coffin Couch
When you’re dead tired, relax on the coffin couch. You spend most of your time on the couch anyway. They might as well bury you in it. Just binge watch your favorite show and then close the lid for a nap. When it’s time for a longer nap, like a dirt nap, just have some friends pick the whole thing up and throw it in a hole in the backyard. Just like how I buried my pet parakeets. Only, you know, like on a 100X larger scale.

This BatCape Poncho Makes You The Head Bat Honcho

BatCape Poncho
This BatCape Poncho says I am a creature of the night and don’t I look fabulous?

Yes. Yes you do. Now stop prancing around in that thing and let’s go fight crime already! *Looks down at my leotard, elf shoes and boy shorts.* Why did I have to be Robin again? Oh yeah, that’s right, it looked like a pregnant bat when I wore it. Now I just look like a pregnant elf. *Punches one gloved hand into the other!* Let’s do this thing!
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