The folks over at zedszombieranch sell these cool Skeleton Candle Holders, which make skeletons your slaves, effectively making you the king of skeletons. You might say you’ll have a skeleton crew. I made a funny. I made a funny. I laughed so hard, I also made a not so funny in my pants, but that’s TMI. Also TMT. Too Many Tacos. Clean up in aisle me!
Get yourself a skeleton army and some candles to go with them.
This Newborn Baby Soap is pretty cool, but I already smell like a newborn baby.
You mean you smell like flowers and nature and candy and powder? Sugar and spice and everything nice?
No, I mean I smell like I’ve been sitting in my own filth for about 2 hours while my parents neglect me. Been crying about it at the top of my lungs too. What do you have to do to get some service around here?
GAHHHHHH! Kill it! It’s all hairy and looks like a lumberjack, but smells like a girl! This Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin nearly gave me a heart attack! He/she looks just as surprised as I was! I was just checking out Amazon and things got all hairy!
Hey, how does this thing give you the time? It checks it’s sasqwatch.
But no. I can’t look at it anymore. This is me slowly backing away. Then running like an olympian.
This Skull Toothpick Holder has a name. That name is Moe Hawk. He has a spiky attitude and a zest for life. Probably because he has starred in like all of the Mad Max movies. Yeah, now you know him, right? Yeah, that guy. He was that guy on the cycle, that guy who took the arrow to the face, the guy who went flying through the air. He’s pretty prolific.
The more you pick your teeth, the balder this guy gets. Seems like a fair trade to me.
Looking to get healthy AND turn yourself into a living ant farm? Just try Polyrachis Black Ant Extract Powder. Sounds legit!
It is basically a bunch of ants that are crushed and ground up into a powder. I think. I have no idea. I was too creeped out to read everything. I’ll let you know how it works out. I left a bowl of fruit loops out last night and it turned into a bowl of “Holy s**t that is a giant hive of insect scum and villainy in my favorite bowl!” Be back later. It’s crushing time!
I hope it doesn’t all combine in my stomach and turn into a mutant queen. My poor ant-hole!