Etsy seller FikoArt sells chandeliers made from tree roots. They also look like tormented souls crying out in pain every time you turn on the lights. Yeah, great decorating choice honey. Sure, I love it. Blah blah, looks great. Nah. I’m good. I’ll just eat my dinner in pitch blackness. Does that one guy have a light bulb for a wiener? I can’t tell, cuz it’s all disturbing.
I AM GROOT! KILL ME!
I am under you, trying to eat dinner. Kill ME!
I guess we are both screwed!
Pee and Poo. They’re a stinky bowl of best buds. Aren’t these Pee & Poo Plush Dolls cute? Hug ’em, squeeze ’em, rub ’em, against each other and see what rubs off. If they are anything like the real thing, you’ll play with the pee several times a day and be lucky to see poo once every other and he’ll make it really difficult for you to let him go.
It’s the only acceptable way to play with pee and poo, so go for it. All of your other toys will be disgusted.
Read more “Pee & Poo Plush Dolls Are Best Buds”
*Pretend swimming through my hazy and murky bedroom.* What’s that? Oh, shiny! I have to touch it. *CHOMP* This Deep Sea Angler Fish Lamp makes every day an adventure. A scary adventure, full of teeth.
This crazy fish is basically a flood light. Get it? Flood? It stands 5 feet tall, 4 feet wide and 5 feet long. The light over the head will lure you in so that when you walk closer, the eyes and body light up using a motion sensor light. I’m scared just thinking about it.
Sorry I’m late guys. Slammed too many Monster drinks and right now I’m twitchier than a facehugger in a room full of mannequin heads. This Alien Facehugger With Moveable Tail And Limbs is not helping. I discovered it at the same time my cat was behind me and put her tail in my face.
Ahhhh! Facehuggers are real! Get it off! *Grabs tail. Cat screams. I scream. We all scream, but not for ice cream.* And now I have a cat shaped hole in the wall and a pissed off cat with a vendetta. So anyway, I’m all extra tweaky. Did you hear that? Was that a real sound?
Anyway, this creeptastic Facehugger is all articulated with moveable limbs and tail. I’m not scared. I’ll grab it by the back of whatever passes for a neck and point it at a Budweiser. I just turned a facehugger into a beer chugger. Cuz I’m awesome like that.
DEAR GOD! CAT ON FACE! CAT ON FACE!
Read more “Alien Facehugger With Moveable Tail And Limbs”
Your cat wants to be just like you so train that mangie minx to use the toilet with the CitiKitty Cat Toilet Training Kit. Look fluffy, it’s 2015. Why are you still peeing and pooping in a box? And making me clean it? You think that’s funny? Now get on that toilet and drop some bombs. There’s some catnip in it for you if you don’t pee on the seat.
This kit includes a training seat and insert, guide, tip card, and catnip. Tip card? I’m not tipping that cat to do what he should be doing anyway. Here’s a tip: Flush afterwards. And the carpet is not toilet paper.